Que Mulher é Essa?

Here’s a translation of “Que Mulher é Essa” by A Garota Não, because why not? I think it literally comes out as “What woman is that” but I’ll translate it as “Who’s that woman” because it sounds better in English.

Que mulher é essa /Who’s that woman
Que eu vejo na telenovela /That I see in the soap opera?
As mulheres à minha volta /The women around me
Não se parecem nada com ela /Don’t look anything like her.

É só mulher sexy /It’s only a sexy woman
Que desliza quando passa /Who glides by
A coxa* não entra /No lame woman appears
E se entra é pra dar graça /And if she does its only as comic relief.

Que mulher é essa /Who’s that woman
Que eu vejo na publicidade /That I see in the ads
Será que as feias /Do the ugly women
Vivem todas na minha cidade /All live in my town?

Só mulher bonita /Only a beautiful woman
Todas altas e esguias /All tall and slender
E só entra a gorda /And the fat woman only shows up
Para perder calorias /To go on a diet

A preta não entra /The black woman doesn’t appear
A baixa não entra, não /The short woman doesn’t, no
A velha não entra /The old woman doesn’t appear
A torta não entra, não /The disabled** woman doesn’t appear, no
Quanto talento gasto em vão /How much talent is wasted?

Que mulher é essa /Who’s that woman
Que desfila lá na passarela /That parades up there on the catwalk
Nunca há-de entrar na moda / It will never be fashionable
O pé descalço da Gabriela /To have bare feet like Gabriela

Só mulher com estilo /Only a woman with style
Com glamour e muito brilho /With glamour and lots of polish
Toda a roupa assenta /Whose clothes all fit
Só à gente é um sarilho /We’re the only ones with problems

Que mulher é essa /Who’s that woman
Que aparece tanto na revista /Who’s in the magazines so often
Três folhas só de fotos /Three pages of nothing but photos
E um cantinho de entrevista /And a tiny corner for the interview

E o que é que importa..? /And what does it matter?
Quem quer saber do que fala? /Who wants to know what she talks about?
Muito mais importa /It’s much more important
Que vestido leva à gala… /What dress she wears to the gala.

A preta não entra /The black woman doesn’t appear
A baixa não entra, não /The short woman doesn’t, no
A velha não entra /The old woman doesn’t appear
A torta não entra, não /The disabled** woman doesn’t appear, no
Quanto talento gasto em vão /How much talent is wasted?

*Coxa usually means thigh but I think the sense here is the feminine form of “coxo”, which is defined as “pessoa que coxeia” – a person who limps. So I have opted for “a lame woman” which I hope is what she meant!

**Torta, in this context, is a bit confusing. It means twisted or bent, and priberam gives a few informal meanings including rowdy, cross-eyed, disloyal. I’ve also seen twisted in the sense of having a crooked face after local anaesthetic at the dentist, so possibly someone with an asymmetrical or disfigured face…? I originally published this with the translation as “twisted” but I’ve edited it subsequently because some people I spoke to on reddit indicated that we’re supposed to picture someone whose bones are deformed in some way and who essentially has some form of physical disability or impairment.