Posted in English

Attempts at Twitter Jokes

It’s really, really hard to make jokes in another language. Here’s an attempt that I think would have been OK in English but I tweeted it out in Portuguese, knowing I was on thin ice.

Every year it’s the same thing: as soon as the 21st of September is over the shops fill up with Day-to-Wake-that-guy-from-Green-Day cards.

Allow me to overexplain.

Green Earth, Green Wind and Green Fire

Obviously to understand it, you need to understand the cultural reference points: firstly that shops always start advertising Christmas merch as soon as Halloween is over (a pretty common trope in the UK) and secondly that there are running gags on twitter based around dates mentioned in songs: the twenty first night of September (because of Earth Wind and Fire’s song “September”) and the end of September (because of Green Day’s song “Wake Me Up When September Ends”). But I think even someone who knows all those things will find the magic broken if the grammar is off or the word order less than perfect. “Todos os anos a mesma coisa acontece” seems like a wordy, clunky way of saying “Every year it’s the same thing” and I’m sure it’ll come across as a bit off. And “ficam cheia de…” Does that sound like something a real Portuguese person would say? “as (prateleiras das) lojas enchem-se”? I dunno.

Well, I put it in the WritestreakPT forum and got a verdict from dani_morgenstern

Firstly, no the word structure is off. A better rendering would be

Todos os anos é a mesma coisa: assim que acaba o Dia 21 De Setembro às lojas ficam cheias de cartões do dia de Acordar Aquele Gajo dos Green Day

I chose to capitalise the whole of “Dia 21 De Setembro” as if it were a special day but setembro, like all months, is supposed to be in lower case.

As for cards, no, cards aren’t really a thing. I should have known that. I was so fixated on the timing that I didn’t stop to think about the more fundamental problem. D’oh!

The rest…. Well, you either know the songs or you don’t but I suspect a lot of people were pretty non-plussed. I was reminded that we should just let Billy Joe Armstrong rest because that Green Day song is about the death of his father but I never let respect for the dead stand in the way of a joke even if that joke is a grammatical and cultural train wreck.

Anyway, all in all, not a successful joke but a good learning experience, and that’s the whole idea, after all!

By the way, the tweet it’s quoting is in Brazilian Portuguese. “O carinha” looks weird but they use “cara” (“face”) to mean “guy” so carinha is just “the little guy”

Posted in English

I’m Quite Pleased With This One

My Portuguese twitter account in action making terrible dad-jokes

The structure of the joke is borrowed from O Caderno Das Piadas Secas. It’s equivalent to the “What do you call a….” format in English. What I’m trying to say – and I’ve no idea if it works – is “4 militants killed in a shipwreck caused by a bazooka being fired by mistake. What’s the country?” and then the punchline is Afogarnistão (Afeganistão =Afghanistan obviously and afogar =drown)

Posted in English

Chuckles Call to Chuckles Everywhere

I’ve found myself getting a bit more feminist lately. I have tended to be a bit dismissive of some claims of 21st-century feminism, to the point of wondering whether the word had outlived its usefulness, but have been energised lately by… well, it’s a long story. Suffice to say that having a daughter makes you want to punch more misogynists in the balls. I am all about the punching. I’m a regular Jean-Claude Van Dad.

Anyway, representation in comedy is not one of my main avenues of interest, but I was struck by this tweet earlier today, by Safaa Dib, who I know nothing about but seems to be a publisher and a candidate in a sort of left-green party called Partido Livre. She posted about the Festival de Humor, FamousFest 18. You can see why she was annoyed from the picture below. Literally not one single woman in the line-up. I know 6 of the names and 2 of those are not even comedians. Miquel Esteves Cardoso is a columnist and writer, and Filipe Melo is a producer and a graphic novelist. She doesn’t seem wildly impressed with some of the others either, judging by the comments.

If you click through to the thread, Guilherme Duarte, a comedian who uses the name Por Falar Noutra Coisa chips in and says a couple of women were invited but declined. Hm… well, fair enough up to a point… but then goes on to say (and this is less fair enough) that he didn’t want to have a quota system at the expense of quality (gasp… but wait, it gets worse…) that work was needed in the background to encourage women to try and be funny instead of making makeup tutorials. He salvages this mess of a tweet to some extent but not much. I was left with the impression that the scene is even more of a boy’s club than here.

Update 25/9/18 https://capitalmag.pt/2018/09/24/festival-menina-nao-bebe-whisky/

Posted in Portuguese

As Redes Sociais e a Democracia

As notícias da semana passada demonstraram, para quem ainda não soubesse, que há um problema muito grave que está a afligir os nossos sistemas democráticos. É um problema unicamente moderno, que surgiu nos primórdios da época das redes sociais e estava a crescer, ano após ano, enquanto todo a gente se tornava todos os anos viciado nestes sites.

wylie

O modelo negocial duma rede social consiste em vender os dados pessoais dos utilizadores. De forma geral, assumimos que os clientes são agências publicitárias, e aceitamos que vermos anúncios em cada página é justo em troca de um serviço útil e gratuito. Mas agora fica claro que existem empresas que aproveitam este oceano de dados para influenciar a sociedade através do método de mostrar anúncios e notícias falsas, direccionadas a cada um dos eleitores. Isso ultrapassa o efeito das publicidades tradicionais porque pode manipular não só os medos e as esperanças específicas das pessoas mas também a percepção da realidade. O resultado: ainda menos diálogo, ainda mais polarização entre a direita e a esquerda, e uma diminuição da confiança na democracia. É muito, mas mesmo muito importante restabelecermos um diálogo entre iguais, sem influência das empresas, ou das forças desconhecidas que os usam.

Posted in English

Another Crap Joke

I’m ridiculously proud of this even though I know it doesn’t really work. It’s from a twitter game called #nowReading where my friends and I try to make books with authors whose names seem appropriate. The only rule is you have to use real names, not just make up some silly surname. So you could do “Omar Salgado” but not “Anne Dorinhasemvoo” for example. I did one that got RTed at Neil Gaiman and I decided to follow it up with one based on his wife, and do the whole thing in Portuguese.

First of all, the title of the book is “What do you suggest I should buy for my wife who likes banana trees?” The author is Amanda Palmer or “A manda palma” which sort-of means “Send her a palm tree”.

Except it doesn’t. The grammar of “a manda” doesn’t really work – I think it should be “manda-lhe”. “Palma” needs and indefinite article, but even then, it doesn’t mean that kind of palm, it means the palm of a hand. So it should really be something like “manda-lhe uma palmeira”, but I don’t care, it makesme chuckle and that’s all I care about!

Posted in Portuguese

Live-Tweeting in Portuguese

Fomos ao “Reading Festival” hoje (vamos aos fatos: ontem. É depois da meia-noite agora). Decidi de tweetar/ pipiar “ao vivo” e em Português durante o dia inteiro. Traduzi o nome do festival “Festival da leitura” porque o nome da cidade – “Reading” também significa “A Leitura”. É uma piada.

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