I spotted this on twitter and was pleased to find that I understood what he was annoyed about
Ai, Público! E será que “habituaremo-nos” a estropiar a língua portuguesa na imprensa, sem que ninguém reveja os textos antes de eles serem publicados? pic.twitter.com/QqfGndGe2j
The headline writer has got in a mix-up between two tenses. He could have gone with the imperative “habituemo-nos” (let’s get used to wearing masks) or made a pronoun sandwich with the future tense “habituar-nos-emos” (we will get used to wearing masks) but he’s instead tried to put the pronoun in the end of the future tense and people are riled up.
Regular readers and grammar nerds might remember the terms for these positions. When the pronoun goes on the end of the verb it’s caller “ênclise” and when it goes in the middle, its called “mesóclise”. The missing third term is próclise, where the pronoun goes before the noun. The rules are set out here if you want some good, solid grammar broccoli for the day.
What the troubled brain is saying is “And what if we’re living in a simulation or matrix and the OVNIs are the mouse pointers”
OVNI is “Objeto Voador Não Identificado” – A UFO in other words. I’ve heard Disco Voador (flying disc, flying saucer) too, but that was easier to decipher. This one needed a bit more legwork.
If, like me, you’re a fan of Portuguese graphic novels and comics, you might enjoy this “fio” (thread) in which a podcaster discusses some of his favourites
I see the word corno a lot on social media in different contexts so I thought I’d dig into it a bit.
Me so corny
Ordinary, standard meanings are pretty straightforward:
A horn – ie, what a cow has on its head (you’ll also see “chifre” and “galho” especially in relation to a deer’s antlers, but the distinction between horns and antlers seems a little permeable…?)
By extension, various other things that are a bit like horns (antennae, tentacles, bone spurs and so on) will sometimes be referred to as cornos. You’ll also see “corno de abundância” or “corno de Amalteia” for cornucopia, or corno de sapato for shoehorn, for example.
A horn on a car (I’ve never seen this in the wild – buzina is the more usual word – but this definition exists in priberam).
One of the points at either end of a crescent moon.
A kind of plant – careful though, its not what we call corn (that’s milho), but a family of shrubs in the cornacea family.
But when I see it on social media, it usually means one of two things, depending on whether its singular or plural.
When it’s in the singular, it usually means cuckold, either in the original sense of a man whose wife is unfaithful, or the more modern one of someone who enjoys watching his wife be unfaithful. So when you see it online it’s often by the sort of person who would use the word “cuck” as an insult in English. They tend not to be the loveliest people, I’m afraid.
And in the plural, it usually means the face or head – so “um tiro nos cornos” =a bullet in the head, “levou uma pá nos cornos” = he got hit in the face with a shovel, and you’ll see various combinations of levar/ apanhar/ dar + nos cornos meaning various types of damage being inflicted above the neckline. In some cases it’s figurative – if someone loses a war or an argument or a football match, say.
There’s also “passado dos cornos”, gone in the head, meaning maluco or doido.
Espero que um cavalo te dê um coice nos cornos respectfully
So there you go. I hope you have enjoyed this dose of hardcore cornography. I feel like I should set homework for you. Try going in twitter now and searching for the expression “nos cornos”. Browse through a few examples and see if you can work out what the tweeter is trying to imply – whether they’re describing an actual physical injury or just some sort of defeat. Tell me your favourite example in the comments.
My plot to demoralise the Portuguese Republic by inflicting terrible puns on its citizens until they are unable to function continues apace. Here’s one I did yesterday – with a translation and explanation below.
Fui expulso da Sociedade Geográfica por ter insistido que o Terramoto de 1755 foi causado por moluscos marinhos. A partir daí, os sócios recusaram de falar comigo. Foi um ostrasismo.
So the translation is:
I was expelled from the Geographical Society for insisting that the great earthquake of 1755 was caused by marine molluscs. From then on, the other members refused to speak to me. It was an ostracism
It’s probably obvious *where* the pun is. Ostracism is the word that sticks out as unusual. So why is it meant to be funny? Ostracismo is supposed to be spelled with a C, not an S, as I’ve written it. Ostra means oyster and Sismo is another word for earthquake. So… Ostra Sismo.
Just to demonstrate the incredible educational potential of social media, how else would I have learned this new word?
Dear Mark Zuckerberg,
The new name for Facebook, Meta, can be misunderstood in Portuguese, because it can sound like "Stick it" with the inevitable idea of sticking something up the ass.
I suggest a simple letter change to avoid this misunderstanding: MEITA.
Found our today that the word nora has two meanings. One is Daughter-in-law (I already knew this one) and the other is Waterwheel. Why those two things? I dunno.
Anyway, i was straight in there with a pun. I asked my wife to proof-read it for me to make sure I hadn’t ballsed up the grammar too badly. She’s very patient.
I keep seeing this word on Twitter. Priberam says:
Um Chalupa a Fazer Chalupices, Ontem
cha·lu·pa (francês chaloupe)
nome feminino
1. [Náutica] Embarcação de um só mastro para cabotagem.
2. [Náutica] Barco de vela e remos.
3. [Jogos] Conjunto das cartas de maior valor no jogo do voltarete.
4. [Informal] [Vestuário] Bota grosseira. (Mais usado no plural.)
adjectivo de dois géneros e nome de dois géneros
5. [Portugal, Informal, Depreciativo] Que ou quem perdeu a razão ou tem distúrbios mentais (ex.: o velho já estava chalupa; estes chalupas só dizem disparates). = ADOIDADO, AMALUCADO, LOUCO, MALUCO
"chalupa", in Dicionário Priberam da Língua Portuguesa [em linha], 2008-2021 [consultado em 29-09-2021]
I think the fifth definition is the key one: basically, it’s a nutcase, a crank, a wingnut. It’s been used a lot in relation to people who think the vaccine is going to turn them into a gay frog, or whatever. I don’t really understand how it came to mean that though, given that the standard meanings all seem completely unrelated. Hi ho. It’s definitely worth putting in the word-hoard though, if you are planning to be on social media.
Ainda indeciso em quem votar? Não te preocupes! 32 analistas políticos desenvolveram um gráfico que te vai deixar sem dúvidas!! ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/oEvbWsCIbq
Luso 