Posted in English, Portuguese

Odeio Pessoas

I did a translation of “Super Ego trip Humilde” by Gandim a while ago and I fancied doing a second one. It took me a while because the page kept crashing and losing my work but I finally finished the bugger, Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you an english translation of The senstiment is pretty familiar – standard observational comedy – so it’s relatable content for pretty much anyone, but he manages to end it in a way that saves it from being cliché.

Este é um som bué positivo, bué lá em cima /This is a really positive sound, really uplifting
Alegria, dedicado a todas as pessoas do mundo inteiro / Happiness going out to everyone in the whole world
Yeeeeehahhhh / Yes
Estou a gozar… isto é para todas as pessoas que eu odeio / I’m kidding… This is for all the people I hate
E que vocês deviam odiar também / And that you should hate too
Se por acaso alguém ficar ofendido /If by chance anyone gets offended
I don’t give a shit / I don’t give a shit
Odeio pessoas que pedem francesinha vegetariana / I hate people who ask for vegetarian francesinha
Odeio pessoas que querem pizza sem queijo ou com banana / i hate people who want pizza without cheese or with banana
Odeio pessoas que mastigam feitas vacas de boca toda aberta / I hate people who chew like cows with their mouths wide open
Odeio pessoas na faixa do meio com a estrada deserta / I hate people in the middle lane with the road deserted
Odeio pessoas que usam comic sans como fonte /I hate people who use Comic Sand as a font
Odeio pessoas que dizem tou a chegar mas inda vão na ponte / I hate people who say I’m about to arrive but they’re still on the bridge
Odeio pessoas com música sem phones no autocarro / I hate people who listen to music without headphones
Odeio pessoas que passeiam na rua a puxar catarro / I hate people who walk in the road and cough up phlegm
Odeio quem chega sempre atrasado / I hate people who always arrive late
Odeio quem pede bife do lombo bem passado / I hate people who order sirloin well done
Odeio quem não responde às mensagens / I hate people who don’t reply to messages
Odeio quem mostra mil fotos de viagens / I hate people who show a thousand holiday photos
Odeio pessoas que usam a palavra top / I hate people who use the word “top”
Dizem face e insta / And say Face and Insta
Falam à tia tipo de snob / Speak to their aunt like a snob
Odeio velhas a pagar as contas no atm / I hate old ladies who pay their bills at the ATM
Adultos com boné / Adults in baseball caps
Quem come o último m&m / Who eat the last M&M
Odeio pessoas / I hate people
Podiam morrer todas / They can all die
Odeio pessoas / I hate people
De qualquer idade / Of whatever age
Odeio pessoas / I hate people
Velhos e crianças / Old people and children
Odeio pessoas na generalidade / I hate people in general
Odeio pessoas / I hate people
Anseio a extinção / I yearn for extinction
O fim do mundo / The end of the world
É a melhor solução / Is the best solution
Odeio pessoas / I hate people
Anseio a extinção / I yearn for extinction
O asteroide / The asteroid
É a melhor solução / Is the best solution


Odeio pessoas que falam alto na sala de cinema / I hate people who talk in the cinema
Odeio pessoas que ainda acham cool dançar o esquema / I hate people who still think it’s cool to dance the esquema
Odeio pessoas que se guiam pelos signos / I hate people who follow the signs (I think this is about people followijg astrology rather than road signs)
Odeio pessoas que acham tarólogos fidedignos / I hate people who believe astrologers
Odeio pessoas que usam sunga na piscina sem ser natação / I hate people who wear speedos when they’re not even swimming
Odeio pessoas com bebés a chorar no avião / I hate people with babies who cry on the plane
Odeio os bebés… a chorar em qualquer lado / I hate babies crying anywhere
Odeio os pais que não os calam um bocado / I hate parents who can’t get them to be quiet for a bit
Odeio quem diz que tem wi-fi, mas é lento / I hate anyone who says they have wi-fi but it’s slow
Odeio quem sorve a sopa, é nojento / I hate anyone who serves sleep, it’s disgusting
Odeio quem diz que não precisa de beber para se divertir / I hate anyone who says they don’t need to drink to have fun
Odeio quem entra no metro antes de te deixar sair / I hate anyone who gets on the metro without letting people get out
Odeio pessoas que puxam o lençol / I hate people who hog the sheets
Não sabem fazer rotundas / They don’t know how to use a roundabout
E riem-se com lol / And they laugh by saying “lol”
Odeio betos que sinalizam virtude / I hate posh people who virtue-signal
Activismo de hashtag / Hashtag activism
Não há quem os ature Nobody can put up with them
Odeio pessoas / I hate people
Podiam morrer todas / They can all die
Odeio pessoas / I hate people
De qualquer idade / of whatever age
Odeio pessoas / I hate people
Velhos e crianças / Old people and children
Odeio pessoas na generalidade / I hate people in general
Odeio pessoas / I hate people
Anseio a extinção / I look forward to extinction
O fim do mundo / the end of the world
É a melhor solução / Is the best solution
Odeio pessoas / I hate people
Anseio a extinção / I look forward to extinction
A peste negra / The black plague
É a melhor solução / Is thebest solution


Odeio pessoas de óculos escuros em espaços fechados / I hate people who wear sunglasses indoors
Odeio pessoas que passam à frente nos supermercados / I hate people who get in my way in the supermarket
Odeio pessoas que metem a toalha em cima com a praia vazia / I hate people people who put out a towel on an empty beach
Odeio pessoas que não respondem a um bom dia / I hate people who don’t reply when you say hello
Odeio pessoas que publicam indirectas nas redes sociais / I hate people who talk shit on the internet**
Odeio casais com facebook conjunto siameses digitais / I hate couples with joint facebook pages like digital siamese twins
Odeio pessoas felizes logo de manhã / I hate people who are happy first thing in the morning
Odeio pessoas com unhas de gel a bater no ecrã / I hate people with gel nails tapping on their phone screen
Odeio quem deixa o carro estacionado em segunda fila / I hate anyone who leaves their car double-parked
Odeio quem diz que é doce de ovos mas afinal é de gila / I hate anyone who says that they’ve made egg custard but actually it’s made of gila***
Odeio quem tem iphone e não arranja os dentes / I hate anyone who has an iphone but doesn’t get their teeth fixed
Odeio quem estaciona no lugar dos deficientes / I hate anyone who parks in the disabled parking space
Odeio a namorada que não queria nada / I hate a girlfriend who didn’t want anything
Come as tuas batatas / She eats your potatoes****
E ainda fica indignada / And still gets annoyed
Odeio as pessoas que dizem “as ‘soas” / I hate people who say “peeps” *****
Fanhosos a fungar / Snotty people sniffing
Porque é que não te assoas / Why don’t you blow your nose?
Odeio pessoas / I hate people
Podiam morrer todas / They can all die
Odeio pessoas / I hate people
De qualquer idade / of whatever age
Odeio pessoas / I hate people
Velhos e crianças / Old people and children
Odeio pessoas na generalidade / I hate people in general
Odeio pessoas / I hate people
Anseio a extinção / I look forward to extinction
O fim do mundo / the end of the world
É a melhor solução / Is the best solution
Odeio pessoas / I hate people
Anseio a extinção / I look forward to extinction
Holocausto nuclear / Nuclear holocaust
É a melhor solução / Is the best solution


Ainda tenho muito ódio em mim / I still have a lot of hate in me
Mas a música está quase no fim / but the song is almost over
Por isso sem rodeio / So without further ado
Aqui vão mais umas quantas pessoas que odeio / Here are some other people I hate
Quem faz espuma nos cantos da boca / People who froth at the sides of their mouth
Gémeos adultos com a mesma roupa / Adult twins with the same clothes
Quem diz que anda aí com um projecto / Anyone who says it’s out with a project
Quem diz sande, apesar de estar correcto / Anyone who says “sande” (even though that’s correct)
Odeio quem não sabe cortar queijos / I hate anyone who doesn’t know how to cut chese
Odeio quem se dá um em vez de dois beijos / I hate anyone who gives one instead of two kissed
Odeio quem se despede com abreijos / I hate anyone who signs off with “abreijos
Odeio quem se queixa que em agosto está sol / I hate anyone who complains that the sun is shining in August
Que são os mesmos que em dezembro dizem que faz briole / They’re the same people who say it’s chilly in December
Quem não fez o trabalho de grupo, mas aparece na apresentação / Who doesn’t pull their weight in the team but still turns up at the presentation
Quem filma concertos inteiros nas stories, mêmo pitas sem noção / Who films the whole concert on their stories – they really are clueless kids
Odeio pessoas que interrompem as outras a falar / I hate people who interrupt when others are talking
Puto olha aqui uma cena… man, não vês que estou a gravar? / “Dude, look at this thing…” Man, can’t you see I’m recording?
Odeio quem usa chinelos com meias / I hate anyone who wears sandals with socks
Modelos de Instagram feias / Ugly instagram models
Com os seus pezinhos sapudos, enfiados na areia / With their podgy feet stuck in the sand
Odeio quem luta pelo ac no trabalho, / I hate people who fight for air conditioning at work
Dói-me a garganta, eh pá, vai pó caralho / It hurts my throat, hey man, fuck off!
Quem não sabe conjugar o verbo haver / Anyone who doesn’t know how to conjugate the verb “haver”
Quem não sabe usar palavra literalmente, podia morrer / Anyone who doesn’t know how to use the word “literally” can die.
Odeio pessoas que só se queixam e dizem mal / I hate people who only complain and say bad stuff
Odeio pessoas e seres humanos no geral / I hate people and huiman beings in general
Odeio quem está no reflexo do espelho / I hate the person reflected in the mirror
Por isso é que tenho tanto ódio / That’s why I have all this hate
Não gosto do que vejo / I don’t like what I see
Odeio-me a mim mesmo, ganda plot twist / I hate myself. Huge plot twist
Afinal o misantropo / Ultimately the misanthrope
Era só um inseguro triste / was just a sad, insecure man
Ya, ganda final / Yeah, big finish
Não é cómico, mas tem boa moral / It’s not funny but it has a good moral
Ya, ganda final / Yeah, big finish
Não é cómico, mas tem boa moral / It’s not funny but it has a good moral

*It says “inda” in the original and I’m pretty sure it should be “ainda” but whether that’s a typo or just slang like “tou” and some of the other words in the rap.

**Uma indirecta is a comment that appears to be nice but has a hidden, malicious intent. It’s not a straightforward personal attack and… actually, it’s a little hard to know how to translate it. Subtweet? Trolling? Something like that.

***I don’t know why it has taken me until now to find this out but apparently Gila is a kind of green squash that’s often used in sweets. Sounds weird, but then pumpkin pie exists, so is it really that strange? So he’s protesting about “doce de ovos” (egg custard type stuff) turning out to just be nasty pumpkin goo. Well, fair enough, I can see how that wold be annoying!

**** I wondered if this was some sort of expression, but no, it’s just literal. You ask someone if they want a portion of chips and they say no but then proceed to eat all of yours

***** I think ‘soas is short for “pessoas” so I’ve used the closest equivalent I could think of but I could be wrong…

Posted in English

Frol With It

In English, as you know, FROL stands for Farting Raucously Out Loud, but I came across the same word in the title of a book I’m trying to read (God the vocabulary though – I don’t know how much more of this I can take!)

The book is Ronda Das Mil Belas em Frol by Mario de Carvalho. Here it is ony my Insta, but obviously the caption is just a silly joke.

Apparently Frol can refer to the foam on a wave: sea-spume, something like that. But it’s also an archaic spelling of “flor”, apparently. So they’re beautiful women in bloom. Makes sense. I find it really odd that the old spelling is so much like a joke, as if someone has deliberately swapped two consonants for a laugh and it caught on.

Posted in English

Triple Threat

Hm, I see today’s scheduled post went out three times again sorry about that. I hope WordPress fix the bug soon because that’s really annoying.

Posted in English

Do You Like Pinar / Colar? Duh!

Pinar

In the world of social media you’ll occasionally come across the idea of a pinned message or pinned tweet. That’s a message that stays at the top of the page even while new messages are posted.

In Portuguese, this is sometimes described using the word “pinar” which is unfortunate because pinar also means “shag“. I have just made an idiot of myself by suggesting someone shag their message in reddit.

So what’s the right word? Colar? (to glue something) Pregar? (to nail something) no, it’s Afixar (ao topo) apparently. This according to Microsoft’s list of tech terms translated into Portuguese which seems worth bookmarking for later.

The verb Pinar in its natural habitat
Posted in English

How The Pros Do It

So my previous post was me making a joke about an advert that appeared in Portugal and that seemed to have a fairly terrible definition of the word “bissexual” (sic: it has two esses in Portuguese). Ricardo Araújo Pereira, who is the country’s leading humorist, or one of them anyway, had a pop at the exact same thing in his column in the expresso and now I feel like I might have been outdone in the piss-taking stakes. I think I’m going to make today s text about this on Writestreakpt and then follow up with a book review for Cadernos da Água tomorrow.

Posted in English

Ouvidos de Mercador

I never remember to use idiomatic expressions in the real world but I pulled out “Fazer Ouvidos de Mercador” the other day, while simultaneously making a pun, and I felt like a black belt

Posted in English

I’m a Lombo, Jack and I’m KO’ed.

The verdict on the most recent post was that the phrases “É nos lombos que elas nos doem” was referring to things being a wearisome, hard labour. It’s not as violent as my suggested “stab in the back”. Lombo generally gets used for the back of a beast of burden so the mental image is of hard work wearing someone out.

Posted in English

Ceca e Meca

já vi muita coisa, não andei a comer palha, corri Ceca e Meca e aprendi com a vida.  É no lombo que elas nos doem
Ceca e Meca?

I was intrigued by this sentence. Ceca e Meca? What the heca… um… I mean what the heck’re those?

Meca is easy – it’s just what we would call Mecca. Ceca needs a little more digging: it’s an arab word that means treasure-house, but it was the popular name of the great mosque in Córdova during the muslim occupation of the iberian peninsula. So according to Ciberdúvidas, the expression “correr Ceca e Meca” recalls the pilgrimages made by arabs between the holy places in southern europe and in the middle east itself. In other words, it means you’ve been all over, you’re well-traveled.

What about the rest though? Já vi muita coisa – I’ve seen a lot. Não andei a comer palha – I haven’t just been eating hay (this seems to be related to the expression “todo o burro come palha” – she just means she doesn’t just believe what she’s told). Corri Ceca e Meca e aprendi com a vida – I’ve been all round the world and I’ve learned about life.

I’m not really sure about “É no lombo que elas nos doem”. Lombo is sometimes translated as loin, but it’s really about the area in the upper back, below the shoulder blades, either as a cut of meat or on the human body. So… i think she’s saying something like “They stab you in the back”. Not sure though. Doer means hurt, not stab. Maybe she just means things wear you out and make your back ache…? Hm, I think I might askabout that one. I’ll keep you posted.

Posted in English

É Uma Expressão Portuguesa Com Certeza

This beautiful gift was sent to me on Reddit and I went in search of the original. Its a blog post from a few years ago. As I have probably mentioned before, people who mark language exams live a good idiomatic expression, and the author of this piece has constructed an entire blog post out of nothing but expressions. There’s hardly a single word that isn’t part of one. It’s a magnificent achievement and certainly a lot more fun than the C1/C2 workbook I am ploughing through, where fully one third of the book is about expressions.

Posted in English

I heard you the first time

Right, I see WordPress have fixed that bug that was causing double posts and it’s now doing triple posts instead. Sorry if you got that last one three times. He is very dishy though, isn’t he. The eighties, man, what a decade.