Posted in English

It’s Riry Funny

My First Actual, Proper Portuguese Joke

I had this idea for a joke in Portuguese yesterday while I was studying and I decided to turn it into a tweet. The verdict seems to be that it’s a bit crap.

One guy on iTalki liked it when I put it up for corrections but everyone else said “I can see what you’re driving at but I didn’t actually laugh”. And it got zero retweets on Twitter.

The english translation, though, got 54 (and counting!)

…which is more than any other tweet I’ve ever done with the exception of a photograph of a train cake I made for my daughter’s birthday party that was so bloody awful that it briefly catapulted me to Twitter-fame. I’m not really sure what this means. I mused on iTalki…

Fiz uma “tweet” com a piada em português e então fiz um outro com uma tradução em inglês (a piada corre bastante bem em inglês também: “Arctic”/”Article”). O tweet inglês retweetou-se cinquenta-e-dois vezes, e o português… nada! Talvez este facto mostra que a piada não é engraçada em português, mas provavelmente somente mostra que a maioria dos meus seguidores não falam português!

…but I wonder is it purely because so few lusophones saw it or is there something specific about the humour that gets lost in translation?

Tickling the Lusophones

Obviously, some things are never going to translate because the humour hinges on a pun that wouldn’t exist in the other language. Like these:

p: qual é o animal que tem mais que três olhos e menos que quatro? r: piolho

p: qual é o instrumento musical que tem mais que três e menos que quatro anos? r: piano

(taken from here)

These jokes only work because the portuguese words pi+olho=piolho (π+eye=louse) and pi+ano=piano (π+year=piano). That’s a total dead-loss if you wanted to translate it.

In other cases, joke formats are specific to a time and place. The Portuguese don’t have lightbulb jokes, for example, so when I sent this to my teacher, she didn’t recognise it as a part of a wider tradition.

Quantos Brasileiros precise para mudar uma lâmpada? Nenhum. Lâmpada não mudou por causa do acordo ortográfico

To be honest, I think I’m a long way from understanding whether there is some impassable barrier to fully understanding what tickles another nation. I’d love to find out though!

Mnemonics

In the meantime, jokes and puns are a great way of brushing up your language skills and helping you remember stuff in a way that isn’t boring. Along the way, you get an insight into what makes people laugh in other countries. Here’s a guy getting his head around an old joke in English, for example. I happened to see it on iTalki today. They can be bilingual or just in the target language.

One of the simplest examples of puns as language-learning tools would be a mnemonic. Maybe you didn’t even realise that’s what you were doing when you came up with a mnemonic, but it’s all about the word play, baby, whether it’s acrostics, poems or puns. For example

You use a puxador when you want to push a door open

A puxador is a door handle and it is pronounced “pushadoor”. This is great until you find out that “puxar” actually means “pull”, not “push”. Push is “empurrar”, but even as you’re telling other people about this annoying fact, and tweeting “FML” about it, you are actually embedding all three new words in your mind in a single bad-luck anecdote, so it actually works better for being misleading.

5580857-160309235311One of my favourite apps, Memrise, encourages users to make “mems” – pictorial mnemonics – to help each other remember words. I have only done one because although I have ideas, who has that kind of time?

Here…

*points right*

…is my Mem for “As Cuecas”

 

 

Consoantes Perdidos

Another favourite joke format is the Lost Consonant. This is a format developed by Graham Rawle of the Guardian, back in the late eighties. He used to write a sentence that had one consonant omitted from one word, totally changing the meaning of the sentence. What I like about these is the challenge of making the grammar of the sentence work properly with or without the missing letter. That makes it a fun challenge for a person learning to write sentences in other languages, and to be honest, I suspect that I haven’t got it right every time when I have tried it. For example

which means

Increase the battery life of your mobile phone by not washing it in bleach

with the added c in “bateria” you get

Increase the life of the bacteria on your mobile phone by not washing it in bleach

But does the grammar actually make sense in either or both of these sentences? Christ knows, and I can’t even think how I would explain all this to a Portuguese person so they could judge. They’d think I was off my head.

There are some examples of original Graham Rawle Lost Consonants here.

Twitter Lost Consonants in English (#lostconsonants)

Twitter Lost Consonants in Portuguese (#consoantesperdidos)

Cartoons

I have already banged on at length about Astérix cartoons as the gateway to better vocabulary, but there are plenty of cartoons out there on the web if you know where to look and they can be quite instructive. Like this for example:

8e893c3da23b8d7451c20d03ef608b87

It works because “nada” means “nothing” but it’s also the second person singular imperative form of the Portuguese verb “nadar” – so it means, “hey, person I know reasonably well – you need to swim now!” And there’s no better way of remembering that fact than by laughing at this joke!

I found a new comic I like called Zorg & Borges recently. I think it’s on this page but the Publico website seems to be horrifically slow right now so apologies if this sends you to the wrong place. There’s a single example of it on here for sure though!

Posted in Portuguese

Dois Artigos

This iTaki notebook entry is pretty thin stuff as politics goes but it was a good way of challenging my vocabulary, so…

25abrilHoje, dois artigos no jornal “Publico” chamaram a minha atenção. Nos dois o objecto é Portugal e a sua lugar em Europa. O primeiro artigo se publicou ontem, no aniversario do “revolução dos cravos”. Este artigo diz que um quinto da população do Portugal têm saudade do “Estado Novo” (o governo de Salazar e, depois dele, Marcelo Caetano, que dominaram o pais entre 1933 e 1974). Surpreendi-me. Não entendo como tanta gente num pais como Portugal podem sentir simpatia por um governo que tinha muitas características do fascismo! O artigo sugere que uma razão importante atrás desta simpatia de autoritarismo está a crise económica. E esta conclusão parece razoável: Nos tempos difíceis, as vezes, algumas pessoas voltam-se aos partidos que oferecem respostas fáceis, mensagens claros e uma imagem de força. Felizmente, a maioria dos Portugueses não concordam. Eles orgulham-se do seu pais e da sua revolução.
Entretanto, um outro pais de Europa, nomeadamente Polónia, já há um governo da direita. O partido Lei e Justiça ganhou as eleições de 2015, prometendo as medidas fortes contra a imigração. Eles afirmam que os migrantes muçulmanos do meio-oriente ameaçam o seu modo de viver. (Como se diz em Português “Pffff!”?) De qualquer maneira, alguns dias atrás, um estudante Português do programa “Erasmus*” foi atacado por um homem. Este homem (um militar) chamou-lhe “lixo” e lhe puxou pelo cabelo e pela roupa. O motivo, segundo o artigo, foi racismo. Pode ser que o homem não gostou do seu sotaque, sua pele… não sei.
Este artigo é o mais popular no website de Publico hoje. É um lembrete a todos para que as nações da Europa rejeitaram o fascismo muitos anos atrás. Somos melhores, mais fortes, quando trabalhamos juntos, ajudando uns aos outros.

Os Artigos
Crise leva um quinto dos portugueses a terem saudade dos tempos antes do 25 de Abril
Estudante português terá sido vítima de ataque racista na Polónia

*= Erasmus é um programa do UE para deixar as estudantes aprenderem nos outros países da união.

 

Thanks to Rubens for the corrections.

Posted in English

A Revolução

It’s quite rare that I actually understand tweets in Portuguese. Something about the condensed format, I suppose. I enjoyed these ones though.

Posted in Portuguese

Os Feijões: Uma Poema

Eis uma tradução dum poema de William Shakespeare para praticar as minhas orações proporcionais

notebook_image_679298Os Feijões, os feijões
São bons para o coração* 
Quanto mais os comeres
Mais te peidas
Quanto mais te peidares
Melhor te sentes
Portanto vamos comer feijões
Em todas as refeições

Desculpem-me, os meus amigos, mas menti. Não foi escrito por Shakespeare. Eis a verdade, crua e nua:É um poema do pátio da escola, mas “O Cisne de Avon**” teria o escrito se não estivesse ocupado em escrever todas estas peças de teatro!

I’m slightly embarrassed at how many people offered corrections on this and saw me at my worst, telling fart jokes I remembered from 1977, but never mind. Anyway, footnotes:

*=I want this to be “os corações” for the rhyme but tbh, “for the hearts” doesn’t really make sense unless you happen to be a Time Lord, so poetry loses out to biology in this case.

**=”The Swan of Avon”. I have no idea if this phrase means anything at all outside of this little island.

Thanks again to Sophia, Rubens and Beatriz for corrections on iTalki

Posted in English

Concordância

I am becoming increasingly obsessed with Deolinda. There’s just something intoxicating about understanding a song in another language. I cottoned on to one called “Concordância“, which seems to be about grammar. Intrigued, I went looking for a translation but there wasn’t one. So I sat down and I wrote one. As it turns out, it’s quite witty. She starts with “I am a pronoun, a personal pronoun” and goes on to state what she wants from this man who is trying to subsume her into a nós. She demands “complementos diretos” which are both direct objects and also have the double meaning of complements that we use in english. “Nome” also means both “noun” and “name” and of course adjectives change depending on the noun, so you can see there’s stuff going on here that probably has more resonance if you’ve been taught Portuguese grammar at a Portuguese school.

There’s a website called lyricstranslate where people can post lyrics and others can translate them so I submitted one for Concordância and you can read it here if you’re so inclined.

 

Posted in English

Through the Looking Glass

This morning I stumbled on a series of videos by someone calling herself Marianareads on Youtube, about reading books in English. On closer inspection, it seems she is Brazilian rather than Portuguese, which put me off slightly, and also she seems to have a thing for vampires. She seems very enthusiastic and her massive subscriber list means she must be doing something right, but she’s not for me, so I moved along. Youtube then spent some time trying to interest me in a whole string of brasileiras novas, before I finally hit paydirt in the form of an actual, 100% authentic Portuguese vlogger, discussing easy books for Portuguese readers to improve their English vocabulary. This seemed interesting to me because of course it’s the inverse of what I’ve been doing in some of my posts on here.

Intrigued?

Little House of Books on “Wonder” (which I’ve read) and “A Monster Calls” (which I haven’t read yet and… what’s Portuguese for “Spoiler Alert”? *googles* “alerta de spoiler”, apparently) and some others

Diário da Chris on “A Christmas Carol” (Alerta de Spoiler: he gets a bit nicer at the end) “Wonder” again and “The Fault in our Stars”, to name but three

ACromaDosLivros – I’m not sure but from previous linguistic detective work, I think “Croma” or “Cromo” means nerd, so this must be “the book nerd”. I think. The first video of hers I watched was about The Curious Incident of the Dog in the night Time though, so she’s got good taste.

 

Posted in English

The Sound and the Fury

cocorocoI mentioned in a previous post that the Portuguese seem to use “Tiquetaque” in place of “Tick Tock”. This made me dig out my old Astérix comics and check out the sounds made by people and things during the course of a story
.
Here’s the one I remember best  ->

So apparently Portuguese roosters say “Cocorocóóóóó” instead of “Cockadoodledooo!” I think this is much cooler. There’s a Portuguese family who have a rooster that crows in the allotment behind the rowing club I’m a member of and now I’ll be able to address him in his own language.

caimDogs, I’m less sure of. Dogmatix is called Ideiafix in Portuguese (Asterix character names, on their own, are probably a subject for a blog post for someone with more linguistic skillz than I have now). In the books I have, the only noise he makes is “CAiMM!” but that sounds more like a yelp than a bark. I googled it and apparently the more conventional dog noise is “Au Au”. OK, I can believe that.

truzMoving on to inanimate objects, how about knocking on a door?

“Truz Truz Truz” is apparently le mot juste. That’s just bizarre though. Are we sure that’s really knocking? Maybe Cacafonix (Cacofonix) is playing his harp outside the door? 20160402_230111

Well no, I promise you, that’s knocking and anyway Cacofonix’s harp goes TZOIN (or is there a last letter there? I can’t see because it’s cut off by the edge of the panel. It looks like a rounded letter so I want to make it “TZOING” but I think that’s just my English prejudice coming through to make it as much like “Twang” as I can possibly manage. TZOINO? Ach, who knows.

crac

 

This one, at least, looks familiar. The crac(k) of a tree as it is pulled down by slaves

 

 

buaaa

 

And here, the pathos of the Roman centurion reduced to tears

 

 

The trouble with Astérix, though, is that you’re never quite sure what is a survival from the original French or perhaps something that the translators made up…

 

For a more cerebral look at the sounds made by animals in different languages, try this article in the Guardian

Posted in Portuguese

Comentários Sobre Um Filme: Ossos

Estou a ver um filme de Pedro Costa que se chama “Ossos” para praticar a compreensão. Até a este ponto (vinte e dois minutos, treze segundos) houveram talvez quatro linhas do diálogo. Por isso, não aprendi muito até agora!

Além disso, actores: parem de resmungar! Falem claramente!

notebook_image_676797

After I wrote this, it didn’t get much better. There are great long stretches in which people

  1. brood
  2. smoke fags
  3. lurk in the dark
  4. stare silently into the horror of it all
  5. brood while smoking a fag and holding a baby
  6. gas themselves

And all this time, barely a word is spoken for five, ten minutes at a time. When there is dialogue it is mumbled and nobody changes their facial expression or gives any visual clue about what they’re mumbling about. In short, I don’t recommend this one as a way of practising aural comprehension!

Muito obrigado Sophia, Ruan, Fabio, Caio e Felipe pelas correcções quando apareceu em iTalki

Posted in English, Portuguese

Amor de Perdição – Free Download!

Fiquei feliz de encontrar o livro audível de Amor de Perdição de Camilo Castelo Branco, disponível de fazer o download gratuitamente em Librivox ontem. Librivox é um projecto voluntário para narrar vários livros de domínio público e distribui-los na internet. Há também outras obras Portuguesas, incluindo Os Lusiadas mas parecem narradas por Brasileiros, assim evito os seus sotaques pelas razões habituais. Espero ouvir isto cedo!

O Comentário em Librivox diz:

Amor de Perdição é uma das obras mais marcantes de Camilo, um dos mais importantes e proliferos romancistas portugueses. Inspirado nos amores de Romeu e Julieta, Camilo conta-nos a história do amor proibido de seu tio Simão, de intrigas, crimes e desespero. Mas a história relata-nos também o seu próprio sofrimento, já que Camilo a escreve na Cadeia da Relação do Porto, onde está preso por um amor proibido

…or in English…

I was really pleased to come across a free download of the audiobook of Love of Perdition* by  Camilo Castelo Branco on Librivox the other day. Librivox is a voluntary project to record audio versions of public-domain works for distribution via the internet. They have a few other Portuguese works too, including The Lusiads but they seem to be recorded by someone in Brazil so I’m avoiding the accent for the usual reasons. I’m looking forward to this though!

The Librivox blurb says:

Love of Perdition* is one of the most remarkable works of Camilo, one of the most important and prolific Portuguese novelists. Inspired by the loves of Romeo and Juliet, Camilo recounts the history of the forbidden love of his uncle Simão, of the intrigues, crimes and despair. But the story tells us also of his own suffering, because Camilo wrote it in the Cadeia da Relação in Porto, in which he is imprisoned for a forbidden love.

*=I believe it’s known as “Doomed Love” in the standard translation, actually.

Thanks again for Sophia for help correcting the original version of this.