Posted in English

A Brief, and Not Very Coherent Rant About Language and Racism

Sorry, it’s in English today.

A man waving a Portuguese flag and awkwardly balancing a Brazilian one. For some reason est understood by AI, his head is in backwards.
I hope the boffins can sort out AI soon. I don’t want to be in my sixties, going in for a hip replacement and the robot doctor decides I am in urgent need of a head reversal procedure at the same time.

After writing yesterday’s blog, I looked at some more posts by the same Instagram account. The guy’s missus, who is Brazilian, has a video here in which she talks about a shitty, racist flyer that was being handed out in downtown Lisboa. She makes a lot of good points, but she seems to have caught some negative attention from social media bottom-feeders, as you can see from the follow-up post here.

In some cases, the critics have dressed up their nonsense as a complaint about non-standard Portuguese, but obviously, the underlying problem here is just straight-up xenophobia. There are racists in every country, of course. This is as true in Portugal as it is anywhere else, and weirdly Portuguese racism even extends to Brazilians, which is surprising when you consider that Brazilians are not natives of a former colonised country, they are largely the descendents of Portuguese settlers (and their slaves). Brazil, as a state, only exists because the territory now known as Brazil was colonised by the Portuguese. In short, they are you, lads! They’ve been away longer than your sobrinha who moved to Luxembourg last year, but it’s the same principle, just with a bigger time lag.

Now, I’m not saying there shouldn’t be an immigration policy that works for the country as a whole, but it has to be one that treats people as people. The minute people get into this kind of hatred, they’re on the road to a very, very bad place.

This is all by way of getting to my main point, which is that I’ve made cracks about Brazilian Portuguese on here a few times and I’ve even shared the odd meme (here for example). But I hope it’s clear that it’s not meant to be hostile. As you know, I mostly try to stick to European Portuguese as much as possible so as not to get confused, so some of the gags are about that desire to keep the other dialect at bay. But there’s also some friendly intercontinental rivalry between Europe and America, which is, at root, born of the inferiority complex of smaller less powerful countries seeing their former colonies doing more business and having more fun than us. Taking the piss out of our erstwhile cousins’ spelling and accent helps us cope with the shame of being efete and irrelevant on the world stage.

Anyway, I thought I’d better get that clear in case anyone thought I was like these pamphlet yahoos. This is a European Portuguese blog, but we love our transatlantic friends too, despite the occasional bit of teasing.

Posted in Portuguese

Acame, Açore, Aconquered

I liked this video. It’s challenging (that açoriano accent! Holy crap, it’s like another language!) but it’s quite funny so it’s good, entertaining listening practice. He’s talking about english words that sound like Portuguese words and he gets a lot of mileage out of the idea.

Posted in English

A Wild Portugeese Chase

In t-shirt news, I saw this t-shirt, referencing the current portuguese fuel crisis, on the Cão Azul website…

20190815_070805

…and although I had no desire to own the thing, I did get a bit obsessed by what the joke was. I asked around and found someone who explained it was to do with the way the words are pronounced in regional accents/dialects in the north, where the sound of words is more influenced by Galician – so a V might become a B and the ão sound would be more like an “on” or “om” (so “televisão” becomes “telebisom”). She also mentioned an explanation of the gasoil/gasoleo thing that included the word “gozar” which unfortunately I misunderstood as her saying that gazoil would be pronounced “gozar”

So I started trying to put the mispronounced syllables into a sentence

Camion… Bidon… Gasoil… Jarrican

Cá meu m… something… gozar… já something

but I couldn’t make sense of it so I asked again and she explained that, no, it’s just about how the northerners talk funny. I find this a deeply disappointing piece of news and keep looking at it again trying to find a hidden meaning in there like it was some sort of crossword clue, and I don’t think I can rest easy until I find one.

If you’re reading this and you have a better answer for why this is funny (feel free to invent one – I’ll be as gullible as you like) then please, please, tell me.

 

Posted in Portuguese

That’s Sotaquey

Sample videos I’ve been looking at for my listening practice to get some accent and voice diversity into my earholes before the B2 exam

Algarve

Algarve (actually. I don’t think the narrator is from the Algarve, but he definitely falls under the heading of challenging listens)

Porto and the North

Açoreano (Micaelense)

Alentejo #1

Alentejo #2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIbYgNOoxAw

Alentejo #3

Madeira

Posted in Portuguese

Segredos da Língua Portuguesa (Marco Neves) #2

No segundo Capítulo de “Doze Segredos da Língua Portuguesa”, o Marco Neves fala de sotaques, e faz a pergunta “Existe uma língua padrão, sem sotaques?”

Pois claro, não há. Se alguém falasse sem sotaque, soaria como se fosse um robot. Na realidade, cada um tem o seu própria sotaque, que revela donde é, de qual classe vem, quantos anos tem, e ainda mais.

Este ponto de vista é muito liberal e lembra-nos que ninguém tem o direito de dizer que a sua maneira de falar é melhor do que a do resto do país. Sinto-me confortável com este modo de pensar até que encontrar um cidadão dos Estados Unidos que diz “adoro o seu sotaque inglês! É tão fofo!” Então, de repente, esqueço-me da opinião filosófica e começo a gritar “NÃO SOU EU QUE TENHO SOTAQUE, RAIOS PARTA, ÉS TU!!!*”

 

Obrigado pela ajuda, Lais e Sofia

*=someone who didn’t understand the point of this daft joke, pointed out that I do have an accent. This is a bit depressing since it seems to imply I’d failed to convey the point I was trying to make but my reply was: “Isso mesmo! Só queria dizer que todos temos os nossos próprias de vista, incluindo eu, e não é sempre racional e razoável. Imagino que inglês é inglês-inglês e inglês americano é um perversão grotesco falado por Trump. Por outro lado, para os americanos, nós parecemos personagens dum filme antigo que nos vistamos como Robin Hood e adoremos a rainha. Uma vez, um gajo americano perguntou-me “poderias simplesmente largar o teu sotaque e falar numa maneira normal como nós”? Ora bem, eu sei que ambos tínhamos um sotaque mas o meu orgulho nacional tomou controlo e a minha resposta era “a língua chama-se inglês porque vem da Inglaterra, pá! és tu que tens sotaque!” Como penses que reagirias se um brasileiro te fizesse a mesma pergunta?”