Summary of an article in Observador with notes at the bottom
Este artigo no site do jornal Observador lembra-nos que determinadas temas surgem em todas as sociedades modernas hoje em dia. Há quem prestam atenção às letras de cancões infantis e detetam os traços de um passado mais cruel que a presente. O artigo fala destes traços sob a rubrica de “politicamente incorreto” mas para ser mais exato, as letras contêm referencias a violência domestica, crueldade para com os animais* e racismo. Há muitos exemplos no artigo, alguns triviais (tal como “atirei o pau ao gato”) e alguns mais nojentos.
Claro que cancões, rimas e brincadeiras que fazem parte da cultura de cada pais contém ecoas de uma época menos simpática e não queremos reforçar a opinião que assedio contra mulheres é aceitável por exemplo. E é evidente que qualquer professor de pré-escola que ensinasse aos alunos aquela lengalenga** sobre “o preto do Guiné” perderia o emprego e poucas pessoas sentiria simpatia nenhuma. Isso não se trata de uma questão de o que é que é politicamente correto, nem de censura, nem até de branqueamento*** mas sim de não repetir os insultos do passado nas orelhas dos estudantes negros em 2021.
Mas por outro lado, as tentativas bem-intencionadas para tornar as letras mais aceitáveis dá frequentemente em cancões pirosas e sem esforço. Até certo ponto, um bocadinho de choque, um pedaço de horror nos nossos contos de fada e nas cancões não magoa ninguém. Isso do gato não vão tornar ninguém psicopata, e não é preciso entrar em pânico ma afinal concordo com Dora Batalim: “mais vale não a cantarem, têm muitas por onde escolher”, ou seja, estas rimas racistas merecem desbotar e desaparecer. Não precisamos deles.
*=”crueldade para com os animais” is an interesting contruction. There are two prepositions in there. Literally, it would be “cruelty for with the animals”, which sounds weird to anglophone ears, but does seem to be legit. A bit of research and a question on a r/Portuguese shows that it’s a prepositional phrase meaning “in relation to” – Ciberdúvidas article here. It appears in the wikipedia article about cruelty but the main title of the article is just “Crueldade Com Animais” so obviously both make sense. By the way, it’s worth noting that brazilians spell “pára” (meaning “stop”) without the accent and in theory portuguese people should spell it that way too now, but it’s the most-ignored aspect of the Acordo Ortográfico because it’s so confusing. However, you might come across a phrase like “para com isso” which means “stop that”, so try not to get confused if you do!
**=I struggle to come up with a good translation for “lengalenga”. I’ve seen it explained as a kind of rhyming mnemonic, but I don’t think it’s that: it seems to refer to repetitive chants like rhymes that aren’t quite nursery rhymes – like “ip dip sky blue, it is not you” or “i see England, I see France, I see Colin’s underpants”. That kind of thing, I believe.
***=hm, branqueamento = whitewashing or sanitising something but in the context of imposing racist songs on black students it sounds like a pun which wasn’t my intention when I wrote it
For no real reason, I decided to look for a portuguese workout channel to use instead of my normal Joe Wicks routine for a change. What I found was that the market seems to be dominated by Lidl, the supermarket chain. It’s quite a canny way to build a relationship with your customers, I suppose, during lockdown. There are dozens of videos on there. Here’s a basic playlist for example, but there are loads more, each with a long list of workout videos from little shorties like this guy doing power curtsies with his very patient dog…
…through yoga and pilates
…to half hour circuit sessions
They even have a few hosted by this guy Jorge Fonseca who is an actual world Judo champion who… what? Runs the deli counter at the weekend for a bit of extra cash? I dunno.
If you prefer your workouts without any unexpected items in the bagging area, the only other channel I know is “Dicas do Salgueiro”. He has the same beard/long hair combination as Joe but he’s got a slightly different style – he does crossfit videos rather than mucking about at home with his kids in the shot, dressed as Scooby Doo. I was having a laugh at how seriously he seemed to be taking himself in this video but then the last few seconds of it when he goes to put the sword away made me warm to him.
So I think I might see if I can go through one of his (hour long!) videos from the Treino em Casa Quarantena playlist one day when I’m feeling energetic.
(Description of an article about swearing in Porto: there are some grammar and vocab pointers down at the bottom for anyone who needs them. The portuguese is uncorrected and might contain errors but hopefully not many! Thanks to Dani and “Iznogoud” of the r/WriteStreakPT subreddit for helping me tidy up a few errors in the original text)
Acabo de ler um artigo no site do jornal Público intitulado “A Semiótica do Palavrão“. O autor, Paulo Moura, defende que a língua do Porto é rica porque a gente de lá usa muitas expressões com palavrões. Estas expressões não se trata de insultos como seria noutras regiões, mas sim de uma filosofia da vida. Acho que ele está a brincar, ou pelo menos está a escrever numa maneira ligeira. Parece que ele tem muito carinho pelos cidadãos daquela cidade e a sua maneira de falar. Apesar das obscenidades, acha-os acolhedores e simpáticos.
Já ouvi falar desta tendência portuense de usar palavras feias. Tenho uma amiga lisboeta que considera os portuenses bárbaros por isso mesma! Fica escandalizada quando vê vídeos online ou programas televisivas de tripeiros e o seu calão.
Notes on the text.
I’ve referred to Porto residents in three different ways
“a gente de lá” (the people from there). Gente is a collective noun so it’s treated as a singular (“a gente… usa” instead of “a gente… usam”)
“portuenses” is just a standard adjective meaning “from Porto”
If you’re reading the article, hopefullly you’ll realise that the missing words are all rude
c=cu in every case, meaning “arse”. There are ruder c words in Portuguese like “caralho” (cock), “cagar” (verb meaning to shit) or “cona” (cunt) but I don’t think any of these are the c in any of the expressions on the page
p=puta which is a word for a prostitute. You occasionally see the abbreviation pqp online, meaning “puta que pariu” or “puta que te pariu” which is the whore who gave birth to you
b= I’m less sure about this one. “Bico” possibly? That just means beak but has a lot of alternative meanings, one of which is “Prática sexual que consiste em estimular o pénis com a boca ou com a língua. = FELAÇÃO”
Checking the theory in the last post, dealing with gender of – ão nouns, just to make sure it isn’t leading me astray:
Palavrão (swear-word) – masc: fits the rule
Expressão (expression) – fem: fits the rule
Razão (reason) – fem: doesn’t fit the rule, but it’s listed as one of the exceptions in the article so that’s no surprise
OK, so if you’re a new learner, you’ve probably come across a few explanations of how gender works in Portuguese, and how to work out if a given word is masculine or feminine just by looking at it. Different teachers have slightly different rules so I sat down to road-test them and see which versions were reliable and which had so many exceptions that they weren’t worth bothering with. I used a list of the 1000 most popular portuguese nouns (details in Appendix 3 below) and used excel formulae to see what rule *should* apply vs what gender it actually has.
This third version of the list has some new refinements for nouns ending in -ão. As you know they are very variable. I usually hear abstract nouns are feminine and concrete nouns are masculine but that’s a bit vague and there are lots of exceptions. But then I came across a video where some guy (I wish I could remember who so I could credit him!) said the thing to do is to look at the letter immediately before the -ão. Verbs ending -ção, -são and to a lesser extent -ião are the ones that are treated as abstract and feminine. They tend to be similar to english words ending -tion or -sion. The rest are manly and butch. Once you split the rule like this, it makes more sense and there are very few exceptions. So… I’ve updated the table below
Portuguese Noun Genders – All The Rules I Know
More specific rules nearer the top override more general ones further down. So for example, “dezena” is masculine because it meets the “all numbers are masculine” rule even though it ends in A. And Avó is feminine because it meets the “Male and Female people” rule even though it ends in an O. Sorry about the colour-scheme, but… well, you know… just trying to harness my cultural stereotypes in a way that makes it easier to follow.
Male and Female animals/people depend on individual’s sex*
o touro / a vaca
o irmão / a irmã
o dirigente/a dirigente
o autor, a autora
o socialista, a socialista
Ordinal numbers depend what’s being counted, because they are effectively adjectives!
o primeiro (dia)
a segunda (noite)
Nouns ending in
-o (but not -ão though)
Names of Lakes, Rivers, Mountains etc
o Tamisa (despite the -a ending!)
Car brands** & types of wines
a Mercedes (but only the brand. The car is “um Mercedes”)
The seasons obey their last letter rules o=masculine, a=feminine
Week days obey their last letter rules o=masculine, a=feminine
a segunda feira
a terça feira
Words from greek, usually ending -a: most usually in
Other words ending in
Most words ending in
(likely also greek)
Words ending in -ez
Names of towns & countries
Places specifically named after male things:
O Rio de Janeiro
Places consisting of a male noun + adjective
O Reino Unido
Os Estados Unidos
Names of the Academic Arts and Science subjects
*=Note that some of these change their endings but some – like dirigente, cientista, keep the same ending.
**= Jeremy Clarkson would love this, I’m sure
Appendix 1: Not-So-Easy E
Some teachers say that nouns ending in E are split between abstract and concrete. However, as you can see, contrary to the textbook rule, it’s mixed pretty evenly on both sides. Conclusion: the rule is bollocks, I’m afraid, and we’ll just have to learn these the hard way.
In theory, these should all be concrete (things you can see and touch)
In theory these should all be abstract (ideas, emotions)
(NB Corte appears in both sides because it can mean either “The court” or “The cut”, both reasonably common but having differing genders just to be bloody awkward)
Apprendix 2: Mistakes, Mis-Shapes, Misfits
When I’d counted all the words that fit the rules and the exceptions, there was a short list left over of words that met none of the rules. The majority seem to be masculine, apart from fé, lei, ordem and nuvem.
Appendix 3: the List of 1000 Most-used Portuguese Words
I got the list from a site called Hackingportuguese but I took out a couple of words that I saw that were Brazil-specific and a couple that looked like they were (at least in European Portuguese) only used as adjectives, and replaced them with random nouns from a Memrise deck, to bulk it up to a thousand again. I subjected the survivors to extreme torture in an excel spreadsheet in order to see how many exceptions there were, using Excel formulae to check the ending against the supposed rule. My version of the list is available as a spreadsheet here in case you want to play with it and check my work.
I’ve been thinking about the evolution of this blog. I originally started it as a sort of homework notepad where I would re-type texts that had been corrected, as a way of helping the lessons would stick in what I call my memory, but that’s less relevant these days, and the point of the blog was getting lost, especially since I have been learning other languages like Scots Gaelic which has been a bit confusing, I think.
So from now on I’m going to make it a bit more outward-facing, try and include more reviews of Portuguese resources and when I do include whole texts written in portuguese, try and explain what’s going on a bit more. I’ll be adding more and more resource pages listing useful Portuguese learning resources on the menu on the right hand side of the page too. Obviously I’m not a teacher, not even a native speaker, I’m just a student. If you’re reading this, I guess you are too. I think we students can probably help each other find good teachers, good videos, point out each other’s mistakes and generally motivate each other to be better at our chosen language.
So here’s an invitation: I write a lot of stuff on here but I’m curious to know who is reading it and what they like. I’d love to hear from you. I’d love it if you dropped a note in the comment section below 👇, saying what kind of thing you’d like to see on here. Or maybe go and find something you like on another page of the site and tell me about it. Is it the sort of thing you’d like to see more of? Less of? Have I made any egregious screw-ups? Should I convert the site to a knitting blog?
One of the things that struck me after posting my list of audiobooks is that there aren’t many that are aimed at younger children, and if you’re a new reader that might be exactly what you need. I did check all the Portuguese children’s stories on Audible but with the exception of O Principezinho they were all Brazilian.
It seems like the best way to listen to stories for children is through videos. There are some on YouTube and some on the RTP Estudo em Casa site under “Hora da Leitura” (Reading Hour).
Here are a few lists you can tap into. If you want to listen to them as audiobooks, with the screen off and your phone in your pocket, there are a couple of settings you need to change on your phone, and I’ll put a video about that down at the bottom if you need it.
This one isn’t a playlist, but you can see the RTP Hora da Leitura videos here. Obviously, these are for home-schooling during pandemic lockdown so there’s a bit of discussion around each. If you’re reading this during a lockdown, consider watching them outside of school hours so as not to add to network traffic.
Obviously, you might be happy just to follow along with the video, especially since some of them show the actual text, or animations that can be good visual clues, but if you want to treat them like normal audiobooks, here’s a video that will explain how to set your phone up to play the audio only, even when the phone screen is off.
Third version of this now: it seemed like it was time since some of the things I recommended originally have disappeared, or I realised there were much better versions out there
It’s always a good idea to have some tricks up your sleeve for learning languages when you don’t feel like it, when you want to increase the density of your target language in your life, or when you just want a change of pace. Here are a few of my favourite techniques with a Portuguese flavour – mostly but not exclusively European:
Put Your Apps To Work
I found it pretty hard to find good apps for learning European Portuguese, but it’s relatively easy to find good games and many of them have other language settings. I started with a copy of Trivia Crack which I’d set on Portuguese so I can enjoy farting about playing games and still be learning new words, phrases and pop culture references and (crucially) facts about Brazilian football. It has its drawbacks of course: most of the questions are written by Brazilians so you get quite a lot of Brazilian grammar in there, but still, it’s more educational than Angry Birds.
Once you realise that any game can be portuguesified, the world is your lobster. Usually it’s Brazilian portuguese, but since you’re not specifically learning grammar, it’s not too confusing. Over the years, I have tried several and I’ve learned a few new words that way without it feeling like work. Here’s June’s Journey, for example. It’s a sort of detective game, where you win by spotting objects in a picture. You need to do it against a timer, so you get quite fast at matching the word with the object. My daughter has played in French and it was the most fun she’s ever had doing homework.
Then there’s The Interactive Adventure of Dog Mendonca and Pizzaboy, based on the graphic novels by Filipe Melo and Juan Cavia. The sound is in english for some reason but the text is all portuguese.
Finally, Lyricstraining lets you play multiple choice games based on music videos by european portuguese artists (among many others). It’s pretty good, steering the line between study and things you can actually do for fun.
Specific Language Apps
I’m told by the cool kids that Anki is the best language learning app but I prefer Memrise. What makes it different from other apps is that it keeps track of the words you’ve learned and returns to them a short time later, to jog your memory so that they really stick. There’s some science behind it apparently. I dunno. It works pretty well though.
The decks are made by users, so they vary in quality. Some are mildly irritating. For example, I had a deck that had animal names in it once and it gave the word for “horse” as “cavalho” which isn’t right. That doesn’t stop it being a kick-ass vocab-learning tool though, and of course you can easily make your own decks with words you want to learn. I usually have a go on it while I’m brushing my teeth at night and while I’m eating my breakfast in the morning. As with most things, make sure you specify European Portuguese, not Brazilian.
There are lots of other vocabulary apps but I don’t really rate them highly. If you want to take a look, you could try this blog post by Marlon Sabala. Don’t bother with Duolingo. I’ve become reconciled to it recently for studying Scottish Gaelic as a Quarantine hobby, but the fact remains that a lot of the things it tells you are very specifically Brazilian and don’t work in a Portuguese context
iTalki and Hellotalk are useful apps that can help you find formal or informal tuition, language exchanges and so on.
Most of the newspapers and broadcasters have their own apps too, and you can set them up to bombard you with portuguese destaques (headlines) throughout the day, and some of the language translation sites like Google Translate and Linguee have apps too.
If you’ve got some mindless task to perform, such as hoovering, ironing or writing a speech for Donald Trump, don’t listen to the new Stray Kids album, listen to someone speaking your chosen language instead. Portuguese (as opposed to Brazilian) podcasts are hard to find on Apple iTunes, but I’ve recently started listening to podcasts on my phone instead of an ipod, which has changed my life, because Podcast Guru makes it much, much easier to find them. There are four specific language-learning podcasts for european portuguese that I know about. They all have their own websites but you can find them on most podcast apps too. I’ve put them in order of difficulty with the easiest first.
Portuguese with Carla is really focused. Carla and her husband Marlon take a short piece of dialogue and break it down in minute detail, encouraging listeners to follow and repeat the words. It is definitely a good place to start if you have no Portuguese at all or if you want to work on your pronunciation. They have a few weird theories about how smelling herbs helps you learn but no worries; I’ve tried it without performance-enhancing oregano and it has been very helpful.
Portuguese Lab Podcast. Very visibly pinching ideas from other podcasts, this one is pretty easy to follow: most of the episode titles tell you what they’re going to teach and how hard they will be.
Practice Portuguese is everyone’s go-to podcast for European Portuguese, and if you speak to other portuguese learners they’ll usually mention it within the first ten minutes. It’s produced by a native Portuguese guy called Rui, who does most of the talking and Joel, who is Canadian and adds a learner’s perspective to some of the dialogues.Since I wrote the first version of this post, they have also launched a second podcst called Portuguese Shorties. Pro-tip: if you try the original podcast, don’t listen to it in order because the earliest ones are some of the more challenging. You’re better off looking on the website, where they have a filter system that lets you choose your difficulty level, or just start with the most recent ones and work your way backwards.
Say it in Portuguese is the most advanced of all, I think. Each episode deals with an idiomatic expression and explains its use and meaning. It’s great if you are working at the B1/B2 level but it takes no prisoners, and I definitely wouldn’t recommend it if you’re starting out. Some of the later episodes have a brazilian co-host (boo! hiss!) but that’s OK, it’s not presented in a confusing way.
In addition, you can probably find Portuguese podcasts on subjects that interest you. Obviously these are harder, because they’re aimed at a home audience, not at learners, but it’s a great way of developing listening skills if you don’t mind a challenge! I don’t recommend this for absolute beginners. I listened to a lot of RTP podcasts early on but I couldn’t follow them and drifted off, so I think it just taught me to not pay attention when a portuguese person is speaking. Not exactly a good habit!
One strategy for finding them is to search the podcast directory for portuguese words that interest you (futebol, livros, telemóveis etc), but you’ll probably find a lot of Brazilian or even spanish results come back and you might need to experiment a bit. Another route is to look for specific portuguese broadcaster like “rádio comercial”, RTP or TSF and see what they have to offer. Here are a few I like, and, again, I’ll put them in order of how easy it is to follow the narrator’s speech patterns and accent
Sbroing Probably the easiest portuguese podcast, since it’s aimed at children. They did a whole recording of “O Principezinho” (The Little Prince) that has expired from iTunes but you can still download it from the site by clicking on 2015 in the blog archive links on the right hand side.
Arrepios com a Bilinha Creepy stuff, murders and whatnot. I haven’t really listened to this much because the episodes are dauntingly long, but I subscribed a little while ago on a recommendation and the host seems to talk nice and slowly, which is good.
Pessoal e Transmissível Interviews with people from all walks of life. The podcast isn’t being made any more but there are hundreds of old ones still available on iTunes.
Conta-me Tudo Live Storytelling in the style of “The Moth”, so if you like that kind of thing, you might like this. I find it quite hard to follow the live recording, unfortunately
Caderneta De Cromos A series on Rádio Comercial about eighties pop culture, covering Star Trek, Pat Benatar, Ghostbusters, Space 1999, Rocky, Pac Man… All the good stuff. Nuno Markl, the host of this show has done lots of podcasts, most famously “O Homem Que Mordeu o Cão” so if you like this you could look him up and choose from a variety. It’s quite fast though, and often there are a lot of people talking over each other which doesn’t help!
Taking a left-turn at the traffic lights, there are some good, inspirational podcasts for language-learners in general. Have a look at “Actual Fluency” or “Creative Language Learning” in your podcast app, for example. Personally, I can only take this kind of thing in small doses, but a little of it now and again is good. It reminds you that you’re not alone and it gives you some ideas from the hardcore language-ninjas.
If you like reading, you might be wondering how to get started reading portuguese. I wrote a couple of blog posts (1, 2) a while ago about this if you’d like to get some ideas.
It’s quite hard to find european portuguese audiobooks, but there are a few on the ebook app Kobo. I did a blog post about it a while ago. There’s only one on Audible, as far as I know, called “A Porteira, a Madame e Outras Histórias de Portugueses em França”
Librivox has a few books in Portuguese but they’re mainly recorded by Brazilians, I think, including the collections of European Portuguese poetry. There’s a very good version of Amor de Perdição by Camilo Castelo Branco in proper Portuguese though, and you can probably find a few others if you dig around a bit.
Try turning on the TV if you’re in Portugal, you lucky buggers. If you haven’t already seen it, have a look at the video about learning with the TV on the Youtube channel “Talk the Streets”, which will tell you the best way to use portuguese TV. If you’re like me and live on a small island off the coast of France, try RTP Play, SIC or TVI.
If you have Netflix, try looking for Salvador Martinha’s “Tip of the Tongue”. He’s a comedian, and as far as I know, his show is the only legit European Portuguese offering on UK Netflix at the moment. There’s a series called 3% which is in Portuguese and meant to be very good but it’s Brazilian so probably not helpful if you’re studying European Portuguese.
There’s quite a bit on Youtube though. Leaving aside whole films, Youtube is a great source for things like documentaries and vlogs. If you can find a channel that broadcasts regular updates on a subject you like, it’s a huge incentive to listen regularly, and you’ll find Youtube helps you along by suggesting similar things to try. I am a huge fan of books, so I started out googling “livros” and various other likely-sounding portuguese words until I managed to find the portuguese booktube community. Criteria to use when picking a channel might be:
Does the subject matter interest me? (obviously!)
Is the presenter engaging,
Do they share my tastes in books/ motorbikes/ fashion/ antique silver cowcreamers/ whatever? A lot of Youtube videos are made by younger people, so you if you’re an old fart like me you might have to hunt around for people who have interests outside the young adult mainstream.
Do they speak clearly?
I’ve recommended a few different channels in the past but there are so many I like, I don’t think I can just pick a few now. It’s a close-knit commuinity though and these three are probably the busiest and best-connected. If you watch them you’ll see other Booktubers mentioned and you can follow what sounds interesting.
If podcasts aren’t your thing, there’s always music. I’m a bit ambivalent about music as a learning method. A lot of people recommend it, including my wife, but I often find it’s like watching as a stream of syllables rushes by at speed. I think unless you’ve taken trouble to read the lyrics written down beforehand and compare with a translation, it’s difficult to pick the words out and appreciate them. Of course, you can still enjoy the music, but understanding the lyrics adds a whole other dimension. Most songs can be found on sites like lyricstranslate, and if you put some time into getting familiar with the meanings, it’ll pay off, I promise!
If there’s one thing Portugal has lots of, it’s music. Here are a few bands to try:
Deolinda (by far my favourite Portuguese band)
Ana Bacalhau (solo material by the singer from Deolinda)
Carlos Do Carmo
DAMA (everyone tells me how they like this band. I can’t be doing with them myself but maybe I just have bad taste)
Marcia (there are a few singers called Marcia – I mean this one ↓ )
Here’s my Spotify playlist if Spotify is your thing
If you’re clever enough to understand films made in Portuguese, that’s a great way to learn more but it’s pretty challenging. You’re not helped by the fact that the Portuguese film industry is not particularly strong compared to Brazil, even, let alone Hollywood. Some of the old classics are excellent (but beware modern remakes of classics like O Pátio das Cantigas for example). Variações, the biopic of “The Portuguese Bowie”, Antonio Variações is great. I liked Capitaes de Abril very much and the films of António-Pedro Vasconcelos seem to be worth a look, like Os Imortais for example, or Call Girl, which looks a bit dodgy but I’ve heard is good. Some portuguese movies can be a bit grim though. Ossos, for example, is slow and turgid and has barely any dialogue in it so what’s the point? I have one called O Vale de Abraão which I’ve heard good things about but it looks pretty bleak too, and the bloody thing is three and a half hours long, so I’m putting it off…
Easier fare would be an English-Language film you’ve seen before, dubbed into your target language. That usually means children’s animated films, since nobody ever dubs live-action movies. Try and check that the actors doing the voice-overs aren’t Brazilian. The last thing you want is all that Eejy Beejy Beejy thing that Brazilians do. We have three dubbed films in the house (*points* at the picture at the top of this section) and it’s good because my daughter likes watching them too. Turn on English subtitles if you are very new to the language, or Portuguese subtitles if you just want written clues to help you disentangle the words. Or neither if you’re a total badass.
Change the Way You Use The Web.
If you spend a lot of time online (ha ha ha, sorry, I’m kidding – obviously you do! It’s the twenty-first century and you probably haven’t left the house in weeks*!) why not challenge yourself to post in two languages, providing english and portuguese versions of your tweets, instagram captions and so on. You’ll lose some of your followers, but fuck ’em, you don’t need followers like that. You’ll get better, more interesting ones instead.
You can massively increase the amount of language in your life by tweaking the settings on your most-used websites. The obvious one for me is my Google Account settings, which affects all my search results, plus the menus in Google Chrome, names of folders etc in Gmail, spellcheck in Google Docs, names of days and months in Google Calendar and half a dozen other things.
I’ve also changed twitter, but that doesn’t do much except teach you some stupid pretend words like “tweetar” (shouldn’t that be “pipiar”???). I daresay if you use Facebook you could get some mileage out of changing the language settings in that. You can change the settings of Windows itself if you have Windows 10 but it’s a bit harder on earlier versions. This might be the ONLY advatntage of Windows 10.
Going a step further, try changing the language settings on Android or iOS. It’s quite a big step because from then on just about anything you do using it will require a bit more concentration, but if you’re up for it, it’s a great way of getting familiar with vocabulary related to gadgets. Make sure you know how to change them back if you have to.
I’ve come across a few useful websites that you might want to check if you don’t already know them:
Conjuga-me (excellent website that summarises all the verb tenses for a given verb. Definitely one to bookmark!)
Linguee (it took me ages to see the usefulness of this, but if you search for a word, either in english or portuguese, it’ll give you actual human-created translations in real books or official publications so that you can get a feel for the way it’s translated in context)
Readlang (directory of native speakers reading texts)
I mentioned, a while ago, posting post-it notes all over my house with the names of things on them. That’s quite a clever way of bumping up your vocabulary a bit without really trying, although with hindsight I wish I’d written the words in larger letters with a big fat marker, as I find myself peering at the post-its instead of having the words thrust in my face.
Lindsay Does Languages has a brilliant variant on this theme. I came across it earlier today and decided to incorporate it in my life as soon as I get a free minute (2019, I think). While you’re at it, have a look at some of the other articles on her site. They’re pretty good fun.
*=This was just a joke in earlier versions of this post but it could easily be literally true now, in Summer 2020.
Li este livro durante um projecto que estou a fazer sobre a história portuguesa. Lê-se muito bem, e traz pormenores suficientes para um iniciante, tal como eu, e vamos ser honestos: escrever a história dum país inteiro de modo interessante e informativo ao mesmo tempo não é nada fácil! Dá para entender os factos básicos, e colorir a imagem preta e branca que eu obtive do livro escolar que li recentemente.
Como já disse (ontem, na opinião de “É de Noite que Faço as Perguntas”) o projecto está a ajudar-me entender a cronologia do país. Ajudou-me arrumar os factos que já sabia num ordem, ou seja, atou-os num fio: as batalhas, os reis, o terremoto, os motivos pela revolução dos cravos. Compreendi melhor o enredo da banda desenhada sobre a primeira republica, e a placa que já vi no Porto em Março, que comemora a perseguição do MUD.
Claro, existem ainda muitas, mas mesmo muitas coisas que não sei mas acho que vou parar, ou pelo menos fazer uma pausa porque não estou pronto para mergulhar-me dentro dos pormenores do declínio do império, o desenvolvimento de socialismo ou o pequeno almoço preferido do Infante Dom Henrique. Se calhar, no ano seguinte…
I thought I’d add a quick blog post in english to follow up the text I’ve just written in portuguese, for the benefit of anyone who might be going to the portuguese consulate to conduct any sort of business, but especially for anyone who needs to register their marriage and change the name on their ID Card, maybe in preparation for applying for citizenship or applying for a passport. I guess in the age of Brexit there will be a lot of people having to brave the bureaucracy. Sigh.
First of all, you can only make bookings online on the consulate website and they come available at stupid o’clock at night, so you’ll need to plan this well in advance.
Second, the list of necessary documents the consulate supplies isn’t entirely complete, as I’ve mentioned in my test. For a start, if you’re like us, wanting to register a marriage, you’ll need your other half. In other words, a portuguese woman can’t go along, prove she is married and get her name change processed, she has to bring her estrangeiro husband along and have him sign some stuff at the same time. On top of that, the husband’s birth certificate and the marriage certificate both have to have been issued within the last 6 months. If you have the originals, sorry, but those won’t do, you have to have them reissued. You can do this online without too much effort and at a reasonable cost, and it only takes a few days to arrive, although if, like me, you need to ask for three extra copies because the appointment keeps being rescheduled, you might come under suspicion of identity fraud!
And third, prepare for a slightly tedious day. Although both parents need to be there, it’s best not to bring a child if you can avoid it. In our case, the funcionario got a bit arsey when our thirteen-year-old came, and there aren’t many children with the patience to stick it out for three or four hours in a mouldy building with an all-pervading air of bureaucratic intransigence. What I said in the text is not an exaggeration: we were talking to the manager of the office and staff did keep ambling in without knocking and asking her basically the same question. Their system was down and nobody quite knew what to do about it. They wanted to cancel our appointment and make us come back again but m’wife wasn’t going to put up with that nonsense. There really was a 2014 calendar on the wall and she actually discussed the cases & personal situations of 4 other cases just as chit-chat while we were sitting right in front of her. There were boxes everywhere and the general atmosphere was of complete chaos. It’s no wonder the consulate in London has such a terrible reputation among portuguese emigrants.
I’m not one of nature’s managers, but I could definitely imagine a few changes someone could make to make the whole thing easier for everyone. For a start, just fixing the website to show the correct details of what to bring would save hours a week dealing with wasted appointments of people who don’t have the right things with them. That would make life easier both for the staff and for the vistors. A few signposts, a bit of training in procedures, some customer focus, a few hours spent putting the boxes away in a cupboard… it honestly wouldn’t take much to turn things around and make it work better for everyone.
The night before last, Mrs L suggested we watch a film called Arrival, starring Amy Adams as a brilliant linguist supported by Jeremy Renner as Jeremy Renner and Forest Whittaker chewing the scenery in a very enjoyable way (him and Jeff Goldblum: as far as I’m concerned, they should be in everything)
Anyway, this isn’t a blog about movies, so why am I mentioning it? Well, Amy Adams starts her first scene in a lecture theatre with the opening lines of a lecture she’s about to deliver about Portuguese and why it sounds so different from other romance languages. I was all like…
But sadly at this point the movie was ruined for me when a siren sounded, heralding the arrival of twelve alien space ships who have come to… Well, I’d best not let slip any spoilers, but suffice to say they hadn’t come to help answer the question, and Amy Adams found her priorities had shifted somewhat so she didn’t even move on to the second paragraph.
I hunted around and found a reddit discussion about the lecture. I think there’s a lot of copy/pasting from Wikipedia going on here, coupled with some diversionary chatter from Brazilians who don’t see what all the fuss is about because everyone in South America sounds more-or-less the same, but it’s good to know I’m not the only one who wanted more. Maybe one day there’ll be a director’s cut with the whole lecture included. I live in hope.