Posted in English

A Brief, and Not Very Coherent Rant About Language and Racism

Sorry, it’s in English today.

A man waving a Portuguese flag and awkwardly balancing a Brazilian one. For some reason est understood by AI, his head is in backwards.
I hope the boffins can sort out AI soon. I don’t want to be in my sixties, going in for a hip replacement and the robot doctor decides I am in urgent need of a head reversal procedure at the same time.

After writing yesterday’s blog, I looked at some more posts by the same Instagram account. The guy’s missus, who is Brazilian, has a video here in which she talks about a shitty, racist flyer that was being handed out in downtown Lisboa. She makes a lot of good points, but she seems to have caught some negative attention from social media bottom-feeders, as you can see from the follow-up post here.

In some cases, the critics have dressed up their nonsense as a complaint about non-standard Portuguese, but obviously, the underlying problem here is just straight-up xenophobia. There are racists in every country, of course. This is as true in Portugal as it is anywhere else, and weirdly Portuguese racism even extends to Brazilians, which is surprising when you consider that Brazilians are not natives of a former colonised country, they are largely the descendents of Portuguese settlers (and their slaves). Brazil, as a state, only exists because the territory now known as Brazil was colonised by the Portuguese. In short, they are you, lads! They’ve been away longer than your sobrinha who moved to Luxembourg last year, but it’s the same principle, just with a bigger time lag.

Now, I’m not saying there shouldn’t be an immigration policy that works for the country as a whole, but it has to be one that treats people as people. The minute people get into this kind of hatred, they’re on the road to a very, very bad place.

This is all by way of getting to my main point, which is that I’ve made cracks about Brazilian Portuguese on here a few times and I’ve even shared the odd meme (here for example). But I hope it’s clear that it’s not meant to be hostile. As you know, I mostly try to stick to European Portuguese as much as possible so as not to get confused, so some of the gags are about that desire to keep the other dialect at bay. But there’s also some friendly intercontinental rivalry between Europe and America, which is, at root, born of the inferiority complex of smaller less powerful countries seeing their former colonies doing more business and having more fun than us. Taking the piss out of our erstwhile cousins’ spelling and accent helps us cope with the shame of being efete and irrelevant on the world stage.

Anyway, I thought I’d better get that clear in case anyone thought I was like these pamphlet yahoos. This is a European Portuguese blog, but we love our transatlantic friends too, despite the occasional bit of teasing.

Posted in English

Tallinn Calling

So I think I mentioned I’ve been doing map and flag quizzes in portuguese to try and boost both my knowledge of geography and to familiarise myself with the names of countries in portuguese. One of them is Worldle, which has one daily map for users to guess, and then asks follow-up questions about language, flag, capital etc. Today’s happened to be a country that looked familiar.

I have questions though.

First of all, have the Açores and Madeira drifted a lot since I last checked? What are they doing just off the coast there? Could you swim from Coimbra to Funchal?

But the language round was even weirder. The first language is easy enough, obviously, but the second?

As you can see from the screenshot, I tried Galego and Mirandês as the two other native languages. Actually I think I might have wrong to choose Galego because I think it’s spoken on the Spanish side of the border, but Mirandês has a proper linguistic community in the North-East of Portugal and I think has a claim to be the second language of Portugal.  The other two languages given on Wikipedia are Barranquenho and Minderico, neither of which I’d even heard of.

As for non-native languages, I’d probably have guessed English, French or Spanish. There’s been an upsurge in refugees recently (eg from Ukraine – roughly 60000) and economic migrants (probably mainly from other lusophone countries like Brasil and Angola) but I’m pretty sure if you added together the British immig… er sorry “expats” (50000), Americans (10000) and people from various other anglophone countries, plus the fact that the portuguese education system seems to be doing an amazing job of teaching English as a second language, English must be pretty high on the list. Then there are quite a few Italian, French and Spanish migrants, and a few years ago there was a massive uptick of venezuelans, descendents of Portuguese migrants, returning home to escape the benefits of that socialist utopia, so I ended up guessing Spanish as my third and final option.

The answer they give is Estonês. I was estonêsed… er… I mean astonished, but I didn’t want to write it off so I did a bit of research to see if there really was a huge Estonian diaspora in Portugal.

Nope. Estonians are 86th on the list of immigrants by country according to the chart on this page. So what’s going on?

My first guess was that the person who made the pages picked from a list of languages and espanhol and estonês were just next to each other alphabetically, so maybe he just clicked on the wrong one. However, my brother does the same quiz in English and he was surprised to see Estonian pop up as the second language of Portugal too. Estonian and Spanish definitely aren’t next to each other in an alphabetical list of English language place names, so my theory looked shaky.

Digging further, languageknowledge.eu reckons 1.89 percent of the population of Portugal speak Estonian, which is the same percentage as the quiz gives. Does 1.89% sound plausible? The population of Portugal is about ten million and Estonia less than one and a half million, so for this to be true you’d need about fifteen percent of the population of Estonia to emigrate to Portugal and there would be about 3 or 4 times as many of them as there are brits. Hmmm… 🤔

Global Estonian, which bills itself as a global forum for Estonians around the world, gives the figure as 77 Estonians lifting in Portugal. That seems awfully precise, but I’d bet the true number is a hell of a lot closer to 77 than 190,000.

So how did they arrive at such a huge number? Maybe at some point it was 190, and some data entry clerk entered that in a database, not noticing that it said “population in thousands”, and that single insignificant error got picked up by other sites and eventually incorporated into the model answers for the quiz.

I think the lesson here is that sloppy data seeps out and pollutes everything downstream of where it’s keyed in. This isn’t quite as catastrophic in its effects as it could have been, but it’s an interesting little lesson in data pollution. Imagine a similar error creeping into some database used for planning or making policy. You could end up with serious miscalculation rather than just an annoyed quiz contestant.

Posted in English

Gender Wars 4: The Pronoun Menace

I’ve been working on this post since I was in primary school and this is now the fourth incarnation. The last version, written 3 years ago, was given the once-over by my teacher (Cristina of the excellent Say it in Portuguese podcast) who has fine-tuned it, adding some tweaks, and suggesting a few exceptions other than the ones on my original list.

OK, so if you’re a new learner, you’ve probably come across a few explanations of how gender works in Portuguese, and how to work out if a given word is masculine or feminine just by looking at it. Different teachers have slightly different rules so I sat down to road-test them and see which versions were reliable and which had so many exceptions that they weren’t worth bothering with. I used a list of the 1000 most popular portuguese nouns (details in Appendix 3 below) and used excel formulae to see what rule *should* apply vs what gender it actually has.

How To Use The Rules

More specific rules nearer the top override more general ones further down. So for example, Avó is feminine because it meets the “Male and Female people” rule even though it ends in an O and “Programa” meets the “Greek words” rule so doesn’t need tobe referred to the ending-in-A rule. Sorry about the colour-scheme, but… well, you know… just trying to harness my cultural stereotypes in a way that makes it easier to follow.

Rule Examples Exceptions
Dependent:
Male and Female animals/people depend on individual’s sex*
  • o touro / a vaca
  • o irmão / a irmã
  • o dirigente/a dirigente
  • o autor/ a autora
  • o rapaz/ a rapariga
  • o socialista/ a socialista
  • o alemão/ a alemã
  • o chefe
Dependent:
Ordinal numbers depend what’s being counted, because they are effectively adjectives!
  • o primeiro (dia)
  • a segunda (noite)
 
Masculine:
Nouns ending in
-o (but not -ão though)
-r
-l
-u
  • o lugar
  • o amigo
  • o chapéu
  • o papel
  • o final
  • a tribo
  • a dor
  • a cor
  • a flor
Masculine:
Names of Lakes, Rivers, Mountains etc
  • o Tejo
  • os Himalaias
  • o Brasil
  • o Atlântico
  • o Tamisa (despite the -a ending!)
 
Masculine:
Compass points
  • O Leste
  • O Oeste
  • O Norte
  • O Sul
 
Masculine:
Car brands** & types of wines
  • o Madeira
  • o Ferrari
  • a Mercedes (but only the brand. The car is “um Mercedes”)
Variable:
The seasons obey their last letter rules o=masculine, a=feminine
  • o verão
  • o inverno
  • o outono
  • a primavera
Variable:
Week days obey their last letter rules o=masculine, a=feminine
  • o sábado
  • o domingo
  • a segunda feira
  • a terça feira
 
Masculine:
Words from greek, usually ending -a: most usually in
-ema
-grama***
-eta
  • o programa
  • o problema
  • o sistema
  • o poema
  • o cometa
  • o planeta
  • o mapa
  • o telefonema
  • o drama

Fake greekery:

  • a gorjeta
  • a gema
  • a alfazema
  • as algemas
Masculine:
Letters
  • o a
  • o p
 
Masculine:
Cardinal numbers
  • o um
  • o cento
  • o milhão
  • a dezena
  • a centena
  • o avo
Feminine:
Words ending in
-ção
-são
-ião
  • a acção
  • a actuação
  • a administração
  • a alteração
  • a aplicação
  • a aprovação
  • a associação
  • a atenção
  • a avaliação
  • a canção
  • a classificação
  • a colecção
  • a comissão
  • a competição
  • a composição
  • a comunicação
  • a concepção
  • a conclusão
  • a condição
  • a constituição
  • a construção
  • a criação
  • a decisão
  • a declaração
  • a definição
  • a designação
  • a dimensão
  • a direcção
  • a discussão
  • a disposição
  • a distribuição
  • a divisão
  • a edição
  • a educação
  • a eleição
  • a emoção
  • a estação
  • a evolução
  • a excepção
  • a expansão
  • a explicação
  • a exploração
  • a exportação
  • a exposição
  • a expressão
  • a extensão
  • a federação
  • a formação
  • a função
  • a fundação
  • a geração
  • a impressão
  • a inflação
  • a informação
  • a instalação
  • a instituição
  • a intenção
  • a interpretação
  • a intervenção
  • a investigação
  • a ligação
  • a manifestação
  • a missão
  • a nação
  • a negociação
  • a obrigação
  • a observação
  • a ocasião
  • a opção
  • a operação
  • a opinião
  • a oposição
  • a organização
  • a orientação
  • a paixão
  • a participação
  • a população
  • a posição
  • a preocupação
  • a pressão
  • a prisão
  • a privatização
  • a produção
  • a profissão
  • a protecção
  • a publicação
  • a reacção
  • a realização
  • a redução
  • a região
  • a relação
  • a religião
  • a representação
  • a resolução
  • a reunião
  • a revisão
  • a revolução
  • a secção
  • a selecção
  • a sensação
  • a sessão
  • a situação
  • a solução
  • a televisão
  • a tradição
  • a transformação
  • a união
  • a utilização
  • a variação
  • a versão
  • a visão
  • a votação
  • o avião
  • o coração
Masculine:
Other words ending in
-ão
  • o alcatrão
  • o algodão
  • o balcão
  • o cão
  • o capitão
  • o cartão
  • o chão
  • o cidadão
  • o escaldão
  • o feijão
  • o órgão
  • o padrão
  • o pão
  • o patrão
  • a gestão
  • a mão
  • a questão
  • a razão
Feminine:
Most words ending in
-a
  • a dúvida
  • a água
  • a palavra
  • a terra
  • o clima
  • o dia
Feminine:
Words ending in -ez
  • a estupidez
  • a gravidez
  • a viuvez
  • a surdez
  • a vez
  • o xadrez
Feminine: 
Words ending
-dade
-ie
-tude
-gem
-ice
  • a cidade
  • a viagem
  • a garagem
  • a juventude
  • a espécie
  • a velhice
  • o índice

Vaguely Feminine:
Cities**** 

  • Londres bela
  • Lisboa antiga
 Places specifically named after things:
  • O Rio de Janeiro
  • O Porto
Feminine:
Names of the Academic Arts and Science subjects*****
  • a medicina
  • a matemática
  • a biologia
  • a física
  • a geografia
 

*=Note that some of these change their endings but some – like dirigente, cientista, keep the same ending.

**= Jeremy Clarkson would love this, I’m sure

***= Some guides say anything ending in -ama, but loads of portuguese words ending in -ama are red herrings and not from greek: chama, cama, lama, fama, ama and on and on.

****= “Vaguely” because they don’t take articles. Some sources say this means they have no gender. At the risk of claiming to know more about portuguese than Ciberdúvidas, or my own teacher, I don’t really agree with this though. OK, I know the lack of article makes it less obvious, but if you have to apply an adjective, you’re going to have to commit to an A or an O on the end of it. As near as I can tell, this usually seems to be an A, maybe because the word “cidade” itself is feminine, and I think if I was in an exam situation I would try and phrase it in such a way that I was saying “Coimbra is a beautiful city” instead of “Coimbra is beautiful” to avoid any ambiguity. 

*****= It might be redundant, this one: virtually all of them end in -a, apart from a  few -ção words, so they would all be feminine anyway.

Rules I Have Deleted in this Version

à – There used to be a rule here about -ã words being feminine, but after seeing a list of exceptions, I did a little digging and I reckon it’s more-or-less fifty-fifty. It might not matter very much because they’re quite rare (there are zero in the top-1000 list) and I think the only reason it’s a rule at all is that most of the words you come across day to day are words like alemã, capitã, irmã, anfitriã, cidadã: in other words feminine forms of words that would normally have -ão on the end and be masculine! I’ve already got this covered with the very first rule in the list so I don’t think the rest of the rule is needed

Countries – Countries are a special case, and rather than list them, it’s probably best to point you to this map on WIkipedia.

Z – Like Ã, Z-endings are fairly rare, but it seems like there are so many exceptions that I can’t really treat it as a reliable rule. 

Appendix 1: Not-So-Easy E

A few of the rules in the table have endings like “-ice” or “-ade”, but what if the word ends in an e and none of the other rules apply?

Some teachers say that nouns ending in E are split between abstract and concrete. However, as you can see, contrary to the textbook rule, it’s mixed pretty evenly on both sides. Conclusion: the rule is bollocks, I’m afraid, and we’ll just have to learn these the hard way.

Masculine Feminine
In theory, these should all be concrete (things you can see and touch) In theory these should all be abstract (ideas, emotions)
o acidente
o ambiente
o ataque
o barrete
o breve
o clube
o combate
o continente
o controle
o corte
o costume
o crime
o debate
o dente
o destaque
o empate
o exame
o filme
o gabinete
o golpe
o horizonte
o instante
o interesse
o legume
o leite
o limite
o mestre
o monte
o nome
o nordeste
o padre
o parque
o peixe
o príncipe
o regime
o romance
o sangue
o telefone
o teste
o transporte
o vale
o volume
a análise
a arte
a árvore
a ave
a base
a carne
a chave
a classe
a corte
a crise
a estante
a face
a fase
a fome
a fonte
a frase
a frente
a gente
a gripe
a hipótese
a mãe
a metade
a morte
a noite
a parede
a parte
a pele
a ponte
a posse
a rede
a saúde
a sede
a sorte
a tarde
a torre
a vontade

(NB Corte appears in both sides because it can mean either “The court” or “The cut”, both reasonably common but having differing genders just to be bloody awkward)

Apprendix 2: Mistakes, Mis-Shapes, Misfits

When I’d counted all the words that fit the rules and the exceptions, there was a short list left over of words that met none of the rules. The majority seem to be masculine, apart from fé, lei, ordem and nuvem.

  • a fé
  • o fim
  • o gás
  • o jardim
  • a lei
  • o mês
  • a nuvem
  • a ordem
  • o país
  • o pé
  • o som
  • o tom

Appendix 3: the List of 1000 Most-used Portuguese Words

I got the list from a site called Hackingportuguese (now defunct) but I took out a couple of words that I saw that were Brazil-specific and a couple that looked like they were (at least in European Portuguese) only used as adjectives, and replaced them with random nouns from a Memrise deck, to bulk it up to a thousand again. I subjected the survivors to extreme torture in an excel spreadsheet in order to see how many exceptions there were, using Excel formulae to check the ending against the supposed rule. My version of the list is available as a spreadsheet here in case you want to play with it and check my work.

Appendix 4: Twinsies

Here are a few words that can have different genders but their meanings change depending on the gender:

o rádio – that device on your kitchen counter 

a rádio – the radio station

o moral – morale

a moral – morality

o capital – the stuff that keeps capitalism working

a capital – where the politicians are busy running capitalism

o polícia – a copper (a female police officer is a mulher-polícia)

a polícia – the cops.

Appendix 5: Notes for People Who Are Insufficiently Confused

There are a few words that are a bit ambiguous and change between regions. I don’t have a definitive list but if you follow the comments under this reddit post you’ll get a few different opinions. Ignore the bloke who says the AO has eliminated all differences between PT-BR and PT-PT, he seems to be high on crack.

Genders can change a little over time. If you ever have an urge to be unhappy, here is a paper you can read about that.

Finally, you might like to check out a series of three texts I wrote about some weird edge-cases for grammatical gender, and especially about gender neutral pronouns. The most recent one is here but it’s a bit short. Probably the best, most informative is this one