Posted in English

It’s Riry Funny

My First Actual, Proper Portuguese Joke

I had this idea for a joke in Portuguese yesterday while I was studying and I decided to turn it into a tweet. The verdict seems to be that it’s a bit crap.

One guy on iTalki liked it when I put it up for corrections but everyone else said “I can see what you’re driving at but I didn’t actually laugh”. And it got zero retweets on Twitter.

The english translation, though, got 54 (and counting!)

…which is more than any other tweet I’ve ever done with the exception of a photograph of a train cake I made for my daughter’s birthday party that was so bloody awful that it briefly catapulted me to Twitter-fame. I’m not really sure what this means. I mused on iTalki…

Fiz uma “tweet” com a piada em português e então fiz um outro com uma tradução em inglês (a piada corre bastante bem em inglês também: “Arctic”/”Article”). O tweet inglês retweetou-se cinquenta-e-dois vezes, e o português… nada! Talvez este facto mostra que a piada não é engraçada em português, mas provavelmente somente mostra que a maioria dos meus seguidores não falam português!

…but I wonder is it purely because so few lusophones saw it or is there something specific about the humour that gets lost in translation?

Tickling the Lusophones

Obviously, some things are never going to translate because the humour hinges on a pun that wouldn’t exist in the other language. Like these:

p: qual é o animal que tem mais que três olhos e menos que quatro? r: piolho

p: qual é o instrumento musical que tem mais que três e menos que quatro anos? r: piano

(taken from here)

These jokes only work because the portuguese words pi+olho=piolho (π+eye=louse) and pi+ano=piano (π+year=piano). That’s a total dead-loss if you wanted to translate it.

In other cases, joke formats are specific to a time and place. The Portuguese don’t have lightbulb jokes, for example, so when I sent this to my teacher, she didn’t recognise it as a part of a wider tradition.

Quantos Brasileiros precise para mudar uma lâmpada? Nenhum. Lâmpada não mudou por causa do acordo ortográfico

To be honest, I think I’m a long way from understanding whether there is some impassable barrier to fully understanding what tickles another nation. I’d love to find out though!

Mnemonics

In the meantime, jokes and puns are a great way of brushing up your language skills and helping you remember stuff in a way that isn’t boring. Along the way, you get an insight into what makes people laugh in other countries. Here’s a guy getting his head around an old joke in English, for example. I happened to see it on iTalki today. They can be bilingual or just in the target language.

One of the simplest examples of puns as language-learning tools would be a mnemonic. Maybe you didn’t even realise that’s what you were doing when you came up with a mnemonic, but it’s all about the word play, baby, whether it’s acrostics, poems or puns. For example

You use a puxador when you want to push a door open

A puxador is a door handle and it is pronounced “pushadoor”. This is great until you find out that “puxar” actually means “pull”, not “push”. Push is “empurrar”, but even as you’re telling other people about this annoying fact, and tweeting “FML” about it, you are actually embedding all three new words in your mind in a single bad-luck anecdote, so it actually works better for being misleading.

5580857-160309235311One of my favourite apps, Memrise, encourages users to make “mems” – pictorial mnemonics – to help each other remember words. I have only done one because although I have ideas, who has that kind of time?

Here…

*points right*

…is my Mem for “As Cuecas”

 

 

Consoantes Perdidos

Another favourite joke format is the Lost Consonant. This is a format developed by Graham Rawle of the Guardian, back in the late eighties. He used to write a sentence that had one consonant omitted from one word, totally changing the meaning of the sentence. What I like about these is the challenge of making the grammar of the sentence work properly with or without the missing letter. That makes it a fun challenge for a person learning to write sentences in other languages, and to be honest, I suspect that I haven’t got it right every time when I have tried it. For example

which means

Increase the battery life of your mobile phone by not washing it in bleach

with the added c in “bateria” you get

Increase the life of the bacteria on your mobile phone by not washing it in bleach

But does the grammar actually make sense in either or both of these sentences? Christ knows, and I can’t even think how I would explain all this to a Portuguese person so they could judge. They’d think I was off my head.

There are some examples of original Graham Rawle Lost Consonants here.

Twitter Lost Consonants in English (#lostconsonants)

Twitter Lost Consonants in Portuguese (#consoantesperdidos)

Cartoons

I have already banged on at length about Astérix cartoons as the gateway to better vocabulary, but there are plenty of cartoons out there on the web if you know where to look and they can be quite instructive. Like this for example:

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It works because “nada” means “nothing” but it’s also the second person singular imperative form of the Portuguese verb “nadar” – so it means, “hey, person I know reasonably well – you need to swim now!” And there’s no better way of remembering that fact than by laughing at this joke!

I found a new comic I like called Zorg & Borges recently. I think it’s on this page but the Publico website seems to be horrifically slow right now so apologies if this sends you to the wrong place. There’s a single example of it on here for sure though!

Posted in Portuguese

Uma Experiência Inglesa de Quase-Morte

Tento usar o vocabulário sobre o clima/tempo e também praticar expressões idiomáticas.

Quando levantei-me, estava com a pulga atrás de orelha. Alguma coisa estava errada mas não sabia o quê. Tudo parecia normal, mas… ainda sabia que era rés-vés Campo do Ourique*. Vesti-me com cuidado, olhando em volta de mim com olhos de lince. E também com orelhas de coelho. Como gostaria de ter asas dum pássaro. Voaria deste apartamento para morar numa árvore e ser feliz. notebook_image_686272
Onde estava? Ah, sim.
Finalmente, fui à sala de jantar e cozinhei ovos com cogumelos para o meu pequeno almoço Enquanto estou a cozinhar, a minha esposa apanhou-me com a boca na botija, a comer Nutella do frasco com uma colher grande. Tinha de pagar o pato. Enquanto comi, li o jornal “The Guardian”.
O boletim meteorológico disse “O sol vai brilhar todo o dia”.
“Que bom”. pensei, mas ainda tinha o sentimento de receio. Saí do apartamento, vestido em calções, um t-shirt, ténis e óculos de sol. Andei de bicicleta ao longo do rio até ao centro de Londres. O caminho é longo e o dia estava quente. O meu rosto ficou vermelho**. Quando cheguei, o céu tinha mudado. Estava acinzentado. De repente, o ar tornou-se frio e começou a chover. Que horror! Liguei à minha esposa. “Fofinha!”, eu disse, “estou com frio”.
Ela respondeu “Podes tirar o cavalinho da chuva”.
“Mas não há cavalinhos aqui. Andei de bicicleta!”
Por enquanto, chovia a cântaros.
“Vai chatear Camões!” gritou, desligando.

Entrei numa loja para comprar uma chapéu-de-chuva. Quando saí, a temperatura abaixou e estava a nevar. Lembrei-me da minha sensação péssima desta manhã. Tinha feito um erro terrível. Tinha acreditado num boletim meteorológico inglês e agora estava convencido que me aconteceria um morte de coisas horríveis. Foi um osso duro a roer. O granizo batia no meu corpo gelado e as minhas pernas azularam.
Liguei à minha esposa outra vez. “Vou bater as botas, fofinha”, disse eu. “Adeus… Ó… Não faz mal, o sol voltou a brilhar.”
Pus a guarda-chuva no lixo e voltei para casa. Quando estava a meio caminho de lá, começou a relampaguear e a trovejar.

*= This phrase isn’t quite right in this context

**=Originally “avermelhou”

Thanks to Sophia for her Portuguese corrections and Rubens and Belo for their Brazilian ones. Rubens also put me wise to verbs made from colours, of which there are three examples here – avermelhar (to turn red), acinzentar (to turn grey) and azular (to turn blue). They seem to be used more widely in Portuguese than their English language equivalents – redden, blacken, etc. For example, “It’s highlighted in yellow” is just “amarelou” (perfeito pretérito simples de “amarelar”)

Posted in English

A Revolução

It’s quite rare that I actually understand tweets in Portuguese. Something about the condensed format, I suppose. I enjoyed these ones though.

Posted in Portuguese

Os Feijões: Uma Poema

Eis uma tradução dum poema de William Shakespeare para praticar as minhas orações proporcionais

notebook_image_679298Os Feijões, os feijões
São bons para o coração* 
Quanto mais os comeres
Mais te peidas
Quanto mais te peidares
Melhor te sentes
Portanto vamos comer feijões
Em todas as refeições

Desculpem-me, os meus amigos, mas menti. Não foi escrito por Shakespeare. Eis a verdade, crua e nua:É um poema do pátio da escola, mas “O Cisne de Avon**” teria o escrito se não estivesse ocupado em escrever todas estas peças de teatro!

I’m slightly embarrassed at how many people offered corrections on this and saw me at my worst, telling fart jokes I remembered from 1977, but never mind. Anyway, footnotes:

*=I want this to be “os corações” for the rhyme but tbh, “for the hearts” doesn’t really make sense unless you happen to be a Time Lord, so poetry loses out to biology in this case.

**=”The Swan of Avon”. I have no idea if this phrase means anything at all outside of this little island.

Thanks again to Sophia, Rubens and Beatriz for corrections on iTalki