Posted in English

The Dark Night of the Poll

Posted on by Colin Lusk

Pardon my English. I wrote a slightly bland Portuguese text earlier, wishing the new government well because, no matter what happens, that’s what we should always hope after any election, but the more I find out, the worse it seems.

I’ve been to visit my daughter so I spent most of the day on a train, trying to work, all squished up between a window and some big geezer, so I had only really caught snatches of what happened. The first thing I looked at when I woke up said the Socialists were ahead, but that turned out to be bollocks. Well not bollocks, but it must have been a cached page from earlier in the night. More up-to-date sources said the Aliança Democrática had won by a super-narrow margin, but although I could see the percentages were all roughly in line with the polls, the big shock was how many deputados Chega picked up. I knew it was grim, but when I was finally off the train, I listened to a podcast that spelled it out in more detail and it’s bloody awful. They’re still only in third place, but they got 48 seats, about a quarter of the parliament.

The actual winner isn’t decided yet, because it’s not like a British election where you find out who has won basically straight away; some of the overseas votes haven’t been counted and the president will only name a prime minister after that. Luís Montenegro, the likely PM, has assured everyone he won’t cooperate with Chega, but… Well, it’s hard to see how he can keep that promise, since even with the IL on his side he is well short of a majority. Likewise if the Socialists were to do a deal with the Bloco Esquerda, the Partido Comunista Putinista and Livre to form a sort of “Geringonça 2”, it wouldn’t secure 50% either. So Chega look like they hold a lot of power right now, like some sort of evil version of the Lib Dems in 2010. Ventura has been waving his dick around proclaiming victory, and everyone else is pretty depressed.

Part of the problem seems to have been that another, completely irrelevant right-wing party, the ADN, got a lot of votes intended for the AD, so they went from 11,000 votes to more like 100,000. This transfer of a huge block of votes away from the centre right caused the AD to lose a lot of marginal seats it would otherwise have won. Seen in this light, Montenegro’s decision to form the AD doesn’t seem so clever, doesn’t it? Gain 2 deputados from your new ally, lose christ-knows-how-many potential seats for your own party. What a master-stroke.

But it’s fair to say that even without that anomaly, any vote that sees a bunch of fart-sniffing yahoos like Chega gain one million votes should give us all pause.

I don’t really have anything intelligent to say about all this. Being an optimistic soul, I can imagine a way through all this that leads to a positive outcome, but the negative outcomes seem more likely, and I don’t know anything anyway, so if I waffle on, it is only going to create a lot of pointless noise.

Sigh.

Posted in English

Bom Garfo? Não.

Posted on by Colin Lusk

Decoding names for people who don’t eat much. The list is from an article by Miguel Esteves Cardoso, reproduced in Português em Foco

  • Debiqueiro – “que ou o que debicar“. Debicar means peck, so this is a person who pecks at their food, which is a familiar idea of course.
  • Furão – literally this means a ferret, but figuratively can be a person with a pointed nose, a curious person (“nosy”, so fits with the last meaning!) and also a person who doesn’t eat much. I’m not really sure how ferrets became associated with abstemiousness, but OK.
  • Lambisqueiro – I’d seen the word “lambiscar“, from which this is derived, before and always assumed it was related to lamber (“to lick”) and maybe it is, but there’s no reference to licking in the definition; lambiscar just means “comer pouco“
  • Languinhento – according to priberam, this can mean wet, sticky, or listless, so I guess this is just more in the way of implying that a person who doesn’t eat much won’t be strong and sturdy.
  • Penisqueiro – derived from peniscar, which sounds like a name for a red lamborghini, but actually is just a verb roughly synonymous with lambiscar, meaning comer pouco.

He also uses plenty of words like “estranho” and “esquisito” (basically “weird”) and also talks about “fastio” to describe a person’s “repugnância pelo alimento” or “falta de apetite”

Posted in English

Artificial Puntelligence

Posted on by Colin Lusk

I did market research on you… Well, sort of. I did a course on AI recently and in the early stages it gets you to do some basic interactions with Chat GPT. If you haven’t tried Chat GPT, you really should, it’s a lot of fun and it’s a good idea to make friends with it now before it takes over the earth. The exercise was to try and get it writing marketing materials about a product or service. I don’t really have a service to market but I decided to tell it about this blog and have it tell me how it would turn this rambling nonsense into a going concern.

Naturally, I won’t be doing any of it, but I thought it was a fun exercise.

Here’s what it said was the “sales profile”

Buyer Persona: Portuguese Language Enthusiast

  1. Demographic Information:
    • Age: 25-45
    • Gender: Predominantly female, but also male
    • Location: Mainly foreigners living in Portugal or spouses of Portuguese people in Britain
    • Education: Varied educational backgrounds, but with a strong interest in language learning
  2. Psychographic Characteristics:
    • Language Enthusiasts: They have a genuine interest in learning European Portuguese and exploring its intricacies.
    • Self-Motivated Learners: They are committed to learning the language independently and seek resources to enhance their skills.
    • Curious and Inquisitive: They enjoy exploring the cultural and linguistic nuances of European Portuguese.
    • Tech-Savvy: They are comfortable using online platforms and resources for language learning.
  3. Pain Points and Challenges:
    • Limited Resources: They struggle to find comprehensive European Portuguese learning materials due to the dominance of Brazilian Portuguese resources.
    • Lack of Community: They desire a supportive community of fellow learners who can share experiences, tips, and resources.
    • Cultural Integration: Foreigners living in Portugal may face challenges with cultural integration and seek guidance on cultural aspects.
  4. Unique Selling Points:
    • Perspective of a Fellow Learner: Your blog provides an authentic perspective as a fellow learner, which resonates with the target audience.
    • In-Depth Language and Cultural Content: Your blog covers more advanced topics, offering valuable insights and discussions beyond basic language learning materials.
    • Comprehensive Resource Listings: Your curated lists of European Portuguese resources (audiobooks, textbooks, language hacks, online learning sites) provide convenience and save time for learners.
  5. Marketing Strategies:
    • Online Forums and Groups: Engage with relevant Facebook groups, subreddits, and language learning communities to share valuable content and establish yourself as a knowledgeable resource.
    • Guest Blogging: Collaborate with other language learning blogs or websites to reach a wider audience and increase exposure.
    • Social Media Presence: Maintain active profiles on platforms like Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn to share language learning tips, cultural insights, and promote new blog posts.
    • Email Marketing: Develop a newsletter or mailing list to deliver valuable content directly to subscribers’ inboxes and nurture a community of learners.

I feel like this is pretty good – it’s obviously understood the brief. It asked me some questions beforehand but I didn’t really give it any clues as to what to say. I asked it what made it so sure language learners would mostly be of the female persuasion:

Apologies if my previous response gave the impression of certainty regarding the gender composition of your target audience. The assumption of a predominantly female audience was based on a combination of factors commonly associated with language learning and cultural interests. However, it’s important to note that gender preferences and interests can vary greatly among individuals, and it’s always recommended to rely on actual data and insights from your specific audience.

And the age? I’m a good ten years older than it’s maximum range, so that piqued my interest

Apologies for any confusion. The age range I suggested (25-45) was based on a general understanding of language learning demographics and the assumption that individuals in that age bracket may have a higher likelihood of pursuing language learning as a personal interest or for professional purposes.

Fair enough. It went on to tell me stuff about your objectives… well, that’s simple enough to guess, surely: it said proficiency, cultural integration, travel, personal enrichment and professional advancement. No huge surprises there.

But my favourite thing – as always – is to get it to come up with puns and I spent far, far too much time on that and pretty much forgot about the rest of the course. Here are some of my favourite blog titles

  • “Portu-Guess: Can You Decode These Tricky Portuguese Expressions?”
  • “Bacalhau to the Basics: A Delicious Dive into Portuguese Cuisine” (I’ve actually written one with a pretty similar name to this. Maybe Chat GPT is a dad too)
  • “Breaking the Mold: Portuguese Grammatical Gender – Because Rules Were Made to be ‘Quebrado'” (Genius! “Regras” is both feminine and plural, so when it says «quebrado» it’s really taking its own advice! 20p in the mealheiro for you, my lad!)
  • “Gender Bender: Turning the Tables on Portuguese Grammar – Let’s Make it a ‘Gênero’-us Affair!”
  • “Navigating the Subjungle: A Safari Through Portuguese Subjunctive Tenses” (Subjungle! Oh my god, why didn’t I think of that? “Welcome to the Subjungle” would have been a great title for this blog post)

And then there’s whatever this is:

  • “Wishful Conjugations: Portuguese Subjunctive Tenses Made ‘Subjimple'”

Subjimple??? This is the sort of thing that makes me understand how my wife feels when I make puns.

Chat GPT can speak portuguese just as easily as english, and even stick to european forms if you tell it to, but I get the feeling its pun capabilities are a bit limited. I prodded it to write actual portuguese puns, not just english puns that borrow portuguese words, but no matter how I phrased the question it could only write titles that hinted that the blog post contained puns, and couldn’t actually come up with any puns of its own. Buuuu!

  1. “Caldo Verde: Uma Sopa de Trocadilhos e Sabor”
  2. “Bacalhau ao Ponto: Pescando Risadas na Cozinha”
  3. “Sardinhas Grelhadas e Piadas Bem Passadas”
  4. “Pastéis de Nata: Uma Doce Poesia de Trocadilhos”
  5. “Francesinha Divertidinha: Rindo entre Camadas Saborosas”

Oh well, it’s reassuring to know that AI won’t be advanced enough to take all our jobs for at least another 6 months.

Arguing with Chat GPT
Cat GPT
Posted in Portuguese

🤞

Posted on by Colin Lusk

Tendo falado tanto da política, estou quase tão interessado no resultado das legislativas (amanhã!) como estou no resultado da votação no meu país daqui a uns meses.

Segundo as sondagens mais recentes, o PS ultrapassou o AD brevemente mas o AD retomou primeiro lugar logo depois. Ambos os partidos principais têm menos de 30% cada um, e o Chega tem 17%. Falei com uma amiga nas redes sociais (cujo ponto de vista é muito mais esquerdista do que o meu) e ela acha que uma coligação AD/Chega é pouco provável e espero que tenha razão porque aquele gajo é insuportável.

Posted in Portuguese

Gordura é Formosura

Posted on by Colin Lusk

Antes do movimento de “positividade corporal”, os portugueses já sabiam que há beleza* num corpo com mais calorias armazenadas. Porquê? Será uma questão de moda? Não, mas é verdade que a nossa perceção da beleza muda ao longo dos anos, como outros aspetos da nossa atitude. Mas a origem da expressão “Gordura é Formosura” é mais específica.

Antigamente, a saúde do povo estava constantemente sob ameaça por causa da falta de medicamentos e vacinas modernas e, em determinados lugares e épocas, por causa da pobreza. Doenças graves, como a tuberculose, causaram mortes e sofrimento, mas antes disso, deixaram as vítimas pálidas, amareladas e cadavéricas.

Portanto, a gordura veio a ser um sinal de saúde: se uma mulher estivesse roliça**, com as maçãs do rosto bem rubras apresentaria mais hipóteses de ter filhos saudáveis***.

O fenómeno tem raízes na nossa evolução, claro, e muitos animais comportam-se de maneira semelhante na seleção dos seus cônjuges. Os sinais do nosso passado como mamíferos vêm à superfície em tempos duros, ainda que sejam abafados por camadas de civismo e cultura. Mas, segundo o cirurgião Gil Faria, esta predisposição tornou-se prejudicial nos dias de hoje porque andamos constantemente rodeados por tentações e acabamos por ficar obesos.

Me, demonstrating my suitability as a supplier of genetic material

*I wrote “uma beleza”, pretentiously trying to copy English sentences like ‘There is a beauty in the world, though it’s harsher than we expect it to be.’ (Michael Cunningham, “The Hours”) but it doesn’t seem to translate well and just came across as a mistake so I guess this is not a thing in portuguese.

**I originally wrote gordinha but roliça was suggested. It means round or plump

***I think I phrased it this way because of how I imagine choice was exercised in the past and thinking it was more likely that it would be women who had to meet certain standards to be chosen, but I guess we’re talking about many classes, many countries and many times so I could probably have opened this out a bit…

Thanks as ever to Cristina of Say it in Portuguese for the help with this text

Posted in English

The End of All Hope: Despondent Thoughts After Hearing Nikki Haley had Conceded

Posted on by Colin Lusk
This is the first time Bernie has ever been aligned to the right

Another rehash of this confusion

Nikki Haley desistiu porque, enfim, não valia a pena ficar em concorrência com o palhaço cor de laranja sem hipótese de o vencer (Resignação)

Não votei porque, afinal, não sou um cidadão americano (Justificação)

Donald Trump ganhou a presidência e, por fim, acabou com a democracia nos Estados Unidos (Finalização de uma sequência)

Winston Smith sorriu porque, no fim, tinha aprendido a amar Grande Irmão (Conclusão de um processo)

Após tantos anos de votação de quatro em quatro anos, finalmente, as pessoas teriam a oportunidade de ficar em casa sem pensar em nada (Alívio)

Ao fim e ao cabo, tudo que o povo queria era um sinal de esperança até, finalmente, chegou o asteroide para acabar com tudo  (Encerramento ou conclusão)

(Not endorsing her per se, but in this election, oh my god, yes… and anyway, if ever a country was long overdue for a female leader, it’s that country)

Thanks to Cristina for unfudging the last one which was a bit wrong

Posted in English

Debate

Posted on by Colin Lusk

Oof, well here’s an eleven minute summary of right vs left in Portugal, I guess!

I thought he’d make both characters as bad as each other but I guess he’s more concerned with stopping the loony right than the loony left and it’s pretty clear where his sympathies lie

Only a few days to go…

Posted in English, Portuguese

Com Que Voz

Posted on by Colin Lusk

I think this is originally by Amália and based on a poem by Camões, but I like this version a lot. That pianist really needs to sort his posture out though. I’ve never really been that interested in Camané but the Humanos videos I’ve been watching have really made me warm to him.

EnglishPortuguese
Com que voz chorarei meu triste fado
Que em tão dura paixão me sepultou
Que mor não seja a dor que me deixou o tempo
Que me deixou o tempo de meu bem desenganado
De meu bem desenganado		With what voice will I cry my sad Fado
That has entombed me in this hard passion
May the love not be pain that allowed me the time
Allowed me the time of my disenchanted lover
Of my disenchanted lover
Mas chorar não se estima neste estado
Aonde suspirar nunca aproveitou
Triste quero viver, pois se mudou em tristeza
Pois se mudou em tristeza a alegria do passado
A alegria do passado
De tanto mal, a causa é amor puro
Devido a quem de mim tenho ausente
Por quem a vida e bens dele aventuro		But crying isn’t appreciated in this state
Where I never took the time to breathe
I want to live sadly because it turned into sadness
It turned into sadness, the happiness of the past
The happiness of the past
Pure love is the cause of so much evil
Owning to the one who is away from me
For whom I risk life and all its benefits
Com que voz chorarei meu triste fado
Que em tão dura paixão me sepultou
Que mor não seja a dor que me deixou o tempo
Que me deixou o tempo de meu bem desenganado
De meu bem desenganado, desenganado		With what voice will I cry my sad Fado
That has entombed me in this hard passion
May the love not be pain that allowed me the time
Allowed me the time of my disenchanted lover
Of my disenchanted lover
Posted in English

Ó Foco Ff

Posted on by Colin Lusk

I’m very underwhelmed by Português em Foco. This is the online, interactive book I mentioned a while ago, which has some good content but a very annoying UI that really casts a shadow over my enjoyment of it. I’ve restarted paid online lessons with Cristina of Say it in Portuguese, because the C1 prep lessons went so well it seemed like it was worth carrying on. We thought we’d try working through the exercises together, so she gamely bought her own license and set up a class on the online site, which is called BlinkLearning.

OK, great so far, I can see the book, she can see the book, everything looks fine, but it doesn’t work as expected.

Firstly, if she sends me homework and I try to click on it, I get taken to the right exercise but the page is frozen and nothing works apart from the “back button”.

If it was just that, it’d be a minor irritation, but there’s more: even if I don’t go via the homework link, and I manage to get some work done, the teacher doesn’t get alerted to the changes I’ve made. In some exercises, she also can’t read the whole of my answers, and I can’t read the whole of her feedback, either, just the first sentence or so, and the marking tools are extremely limited – there is no scope to amend what I’ve written or make suggestions, just give a mark or use a fairly crude highlighting button.

Worse still, I find when I submit oral work as recordings they aren’t reaching her, they just disappear into the ether.

The customer support on the platform hasn’t been very helpful at all: I sent them a screencap video showing me using the site in Chrome so they could see I wasn’t doing anything wrong but after a few days they asked me to do the same actions but this time with the browser console open. Then when I sent them that video they asked me to uninstall all my browser extensions and make a third video with console open again.

Ugh, I don’t have the patience and it’s distracting me, so we’ve just ended up having to work outside the book: The simple fill-in-the-blank exercises work OK, but with the teacher-marked work, I have to, write (or record) the answer outside the website and pass it across to her via a shared google drive. It works well enough, but it’s one of those mildly annoying little extra admin tasks that makes technology harder to use. I suppose it’s still easier than – say – if we were working from a paper book, so maybe I should just get over it, but I have had my expectations raised, so it’s disappointing. They were pretty grudging about exchanging the online teacher license for a paper copy too, which seems pretty shoddy to me. You would think they’d try a bit harder, if only to stop people writing snotty blog posts like this and scaring potential future customers away.

So basically, now Lidel are my enemy.

Me glaring at the manager of my local Lidl just in case I was right about them being the makers of Lidel Books

It’s a shame because I like the exercises. The texts are fun and the questions are challenging, but the platform is not fit for porpoises.

Anyway, disappointing but not crushing. I’ve updated the blurb about Português em Foco on my Study Guides page.

Posted in Portuguese

Night of D’Hondter*

Posted on by Colin Lusk

A minha semana política já acabou mas ando a descobrir mais sobre a democracia em Portugal. Falei com uma amiga que explicou o seu raciocínio sobre a votação nas legislativas. Ela não está muito entusiasmada sobre o leque de opções, mas vai votar no PS, principalmente porque ela não quer deixar entrar um candidato do Chega por causa do Método d’Hondt.

Este método é um sistema de votação, inventado por um jurista belga que visa distribuir os mandatos entre os partidos. Tentei ler a página da Wikipédia mas confesso que adormeci após dois parágrafos. Que grande seca! Efetivamente, é uma forma de representação proporcional que é mais limitada do que os outros sistemas disponíveis. Favorece os partidos grandes e as coligações e dá poucas oportunidades aos grupos nas franjas dos sistemas partidários. Se quiseres saber mais, terás de ler o texto na Wikipédia porque falta-me a paciência!

*I can’t tell you how many potential puns I considered before settling on this one “D’Hondt you want me baby?”, “Papa D’Hondt Preach”, “Penny MorD’Hondt” and on and on. In the end, it was the idea of the graphic that swung it for me. If you haven’t seen Robert Mitchum in “Night of the Hunter”, it’s well worth a watch.