Posted in English

101 Transgressions

502xSo I got this book “101 Erros de Português que Acabam Com a Sua Credibilidade” (Available on Amazon | Bertrand) , which is really, really *not* aimed at estrangeiros like me, so a good deal of it either went over my head or seemed like something I could ignore safely. but I thought I’d go through it and list out the errors that are worth remembering. I’ll leave out the obvious idiocies – the portuguese equivalent of saying “He asked pacifically how big the specific ocean was” – and also the very fancy, finer-points-of-the-language stuff and just stick to listing out the ones that might be useful to refer back to later.

Ordinal numbers – because portuguese uses primeiro, segundo, etc instead of first, second, etc, they use 1°, 2° instead of our 1st, 2nd, etc. Now, obviously, this looks like a degree sign, so to distinguish it from a temperature, they put a dot after the number like this: “2.°“. Or should. The same applies to feminine nouns such as days of the week: 2.ª-feira. Note the dot, the dash and the lower case f! This seems not to be very strictly applied by native speakers. This is the first hit I get on google. No dot, no dash, upper case F

Percentages – plural or singular?

  • If  you’re saying “1% of (some plural noun) then it’s plural to match the noun. 1% das pessoas são portuguesas
  • If it’s just 1% of a quantity, it is singular for 1% and plural for any other number. 1% da piscina é xixi, A gente deu a sua opinião no referendo e 52% votaram sim.

Collective nouns – as I noted in a previous post, the portuguese are a bit more consistent in using colleective nouns like “a gente”, “a família” and “a maioria” as singulars that take singular verbs and singular adjectives but the author reminds us that if that’s followed by a plural, it reverts to being plural: “A maioria dos ingleses votaram para o Brexit”. Basically, it hinges on whether you’re talking about the group as a solid mass or as a set of many individuals, I think

Acerca de/A cerca de/Há cerca de – three similar-sounding phrases.

  • Acerca de means something like “on the subject of” or “with respect to”
  • “A cerca de” means “approximately” or “about” in situations where we’re dealing with something being (at) a certain distance away in time or space
  • In “há cerca de”, the “cerca de” is doing the same job as in the case above, but it’s used in sentences where an “há” would make sense – so it’s some quantity of time ago, or where “existe” would work – so there’s roughly siuch-and-such an amount present

Laughter – Ah! Ah! Ah! not Ha! Ha! Ha! This seems like a weird thing to have as a rule, but that’s what the book says, babe. Ah! on its own is still an interjection, denoting surprise, as in english

Billions – Bilião should designate um milhão de milhões as it… should in the UK. Curiously, the author has given us up as a lost cause and grouped us with the countries that use a short form billion – a thousand millions. Brazil is one too, but a long-form billion is the standard in Europe generally.

Bimensal and bimenstral – OK, a bit obscure this one. Bimensal means twice a month and bimenstral is every two months.

Cará(c)ter – has an accent in the singular form, even though the plural – caracters – doesn’t. Obviously, this is just for alphanumeric characters, not characters in a film – those are personagens or protagonistas.

Círculo vicioso, not ciclo vicioso – as in english, dammit!!!

Concerteza is not a thing – it’s com certeza and that’s that

Discordar – When you agree, it’s “concordar com” but when you disagree you have to use “dioscordar de” – so you disagree from someone and agree with them. I like that.

Fake Acordo Ortográfico changes – Some words that look like they should have dropped their C in the AO haven’t. It’s contacto, not contato, and facto not fato (which would be confusing, what with that already being a word)

Dates seem to have set formats so it’s either the long form

  • 6 de maio de 1969 (note the lower case, because all months and weekday names have lower case letters in the AO)

or in a short form, with the year foremost

  • Com traço 1969-05-06
  • Com barra 1969/05/06
  • Com ponto 1969.05.06

Decerto and de certo – this was interesting to me because I didn#’t even know there was a word “decerto”. Apparently it means the same as “com certeza” and “certamente”. De certo (as two words) is used in phrases like “de certo modo” and “o que temos de certo” – so it means “in a certain…” or “of what’s true”

De forma que – “In order to” can be used in place of “para”. Occasionally written as “de forma a que” but this is wrong.

Despender – “to expend” – always has an e as its second letter, not an i, even though the noun (“dispêndio”) and the adjective form (“dispendioso”) have an i.

Descricao and Discricao – Description and Discretion. Not to be confused

“Em Vez de…” and “Ao invés de” – are sometimes used interchangeably. The first one means “Instead of” and the second “Contrary to”. So one could be used in a sentence like “Tocou uma guitarra em vez dum piano” (“he played a guitar instead of a piano”) the other would be used in “Ao invés de melhorar a banda, a guitarra fez ainda pior” (“Rather than making the band better, the guitar just made it worse”).

Empenho/Empenhamento – both mean the same thing (commitment) but the shorter one is preferable

Foreign Words – like french, portuguese is plagued by words from english showing up especially in discussions about media, business and computing. She recomments finding portuguese equivalents where possible: Gosto for “like” on facebooks for example, clique for click, aswell as avoiding neologisms based on other languages like “equipe” for “equipa” and “controle” for “controlo”. There’s a list of “estrangeirismos” on the Portal Da Língua Portuguesa along with some suggested alternatives, where they exist.

Latin phrases – behave like in english, so they’re italicised when they’re used, and the littlest one, etc., has a dot after it, with surrounding punctuation behaving just as it would in english too.

Fim de semana – not fim-de-semana

Adverbs ending in -mente – No adverb ending with -mente needs an accent, even if the adjective it’s based on does. This seems like a useful rule! I love useful rules!

Some stuff about “haver” – apparently some people write há-des for some reason. Presumably thinking the -de is part of the verb, and most verbs take an s on the end in the second person singular. It’s hás-de of course. Some people also use “houveram” as the bast tense of “há” when talking about more than one thing “houveram muitos erros no meu último blogue” but unlike “existir”, you don’t use the plural form in that context.

Business Bullshit – cited examples of fancy words being misused in the workplace to sound more hardcore

  • “implementar” being used erroneously as a fancy way of saying “realizar” or “fazer” or whatever.
  • “despoletar” being used in place of espoletar (espoletar means the same as descadear, original, provocar… but despoletar means pretty much the exact opposite!)
  • Empreendorismo in place of Empreendedorismo. If you’re going to talk about entreprenoors, at least spell the word right, for heaven’s sake
  • Sediado means “headquartered”, as in “Many banks headquartered in London are considering a change of location after Brexi”). Not to be confused with “sedeado” which means “scrubbed with a silk brush” and is um… much less common.

Imprimir and its participles – Imprimir has two participles – imprimido and impresso. Imprimido is used with ter and haver (tenho imprimido….) when it’s behaving in a more “verby” way and impresso is used with “estar” and “ser” when it’s behaving in a more “adjectivey” way. “o documento foi impresso”

Interveio – intervir is based on vir not ver so the past tense is “interveio” and not “interviu”

Informar (de) que – Informar someone de que something is used when the sentence refers to who you’re informing (“Informo o professor de que chega atrasado”) and informar que is just used when you’re giving out some information but not saying who to (“Informa que chega atrasado”)

Ir ao/de encontro – “Espero que esta proposta vá ao encontro aos seus objectivos” means “I hope this suggestion meets your objectives”, but if we change ao to de it means “I hop it opposed your objectives”. Common mistake, apparently!

Cash – euros, dollars etc are written with small letters when referraing to actual day-to-day notes in circulation (libras, euros) and capitals when discussing the currency itself (A Libra Esterline). When writing amounts of money, The Euro symbol or EUR goes after the number, not before as in english.

Numbers – some rules for orthography

  • The portuguese use a virgula (comma) in place of a decimal place and a space in place of a comma – 1 000 000 is a million and 3,14159265359 is pi.
  • Pleasingly, an individual digit in a long number is called an algarismo which is obviously drawn from the same (arabic) root as “algorithm”. If there are 4 or fewer, you don’t need to bother with the space. So it’s 1000 for a thousand, not 1 000 but 10 000 for ten thousand, not 10000
  • Numbers smaller than ten can be written out in full (three, four) but larger number should be in the form of numbers (273) or mixed (2.3 milhões – note that millions are pluralised here!)

Ó vs Oh – Ó is used when addressing or calling someone as in “Ó Evaristotens cá disto?” the phrase in O Pátio das Cantigas that drives the shopkeeper to distraction. Oh! is more of an indicator of surprise: “Oh que pena!”

Reflexive pronouns – being misheard as part of the verb – e.g percebeste / percebes-te, falasse/fala-se. Just something to be aware of, really.

Porque/Por que/ porquê – A lot of people get these wrong, apparently, and especially in questions.

  • Por que – “for what”. Can often do swapsies with “por qual”
  • Porque – “why” (interrogative) or because (declarative)
  • Porquê – In the interrogative, it’s similar to porque but it’s a deeper question, asking about someone’s motives. If you’re at a job interview and want to know why someone wants to work at the organisation, use Porquê? but if you just want to know why they liked the book it’s Porque? Porque is more conversational and more friendly. In the declarative it just means “motive. “É preciso avaliar o porquê dessa decisão”.

Poder/Puder – Poder is very irregular but apparently you can remember when it’s a u and when it’s an o by remembering that it’s an o when the e that follows it is enunciated as an ê and u when the e is enunciated like an é. TBH, I’m none the wiser but i’ll interrogate Mrs Lusk about it later when she’s recovered from my obtuseness over the difference between porquê and porque. For a start, there are some parts of the verb where the e is silent, or an near as dammit.

Senão and se não – Whew – already written a post about this one.

Reunir – Normally means “bring together”. Used reflexively (“reunir-se”) it means “meet”. If it’s followed by “com” (ie, “meet with”, it’s always reflexive.

Abbreviations – As in english, there’s a difference between “acrónimos” (abbreviations like LASER and NATO that can be said as words) and “siglas” (standard abbreviations like UN or RSPCA that are said letter-by-letter). They are to be written in caps with no dots between them. To make them plural, you pluralise only the article – e.g. “As FAQ”, not “As FAQs”. Nobody is quite sure whether SMS is masculine or feminine so maybe say “uma mensagem” instead and save yourself the headache.

Ter de and Ter que – I’ve seen a few different teachers defending different opinions on this one but Elsa Fernandes is of the school of thought that thinks “Ter de” is right and “ter que” is a vulgarisation. Tenho de fazer alguma coisa means I have to do something. You can say “tem muito que melhorar” meaning “It has a lot that is beneficial” but not “ter que fazer alguma coisa”. It’s done wrong often eough that you’ll see it that way though.

Trata(m)-se de – Like “haver”, “tratar-se” is a verb that is basically only ever used in the third-person singular. Trata-se de means something like “it refers to” or “it deals with” or even just “it’s an example of”… it’s quite hard to translate though. I used to think it meant “it’s about” so I’d say stuff like “Este livro trata-se dum homem que…” but that’s wrong. The example she gives is “trata-se de tecnologias capazes de transformar a forma como trabalhamos”, which is something like “It’s all about technologies that can change how we work”.

Ups! – Not Oops!

Compound verbs with pronouns – In the example give, “vou-me ligar à internet” or “vou ligar-me à internet”, either is fine. It doesn’t go into great detail so I have had a look at the gramar book. The rules seem to be:

  • Compound verbs such as the preterito-mais-que-perfeito composto take the pronoun after the auxiliary: “Ela tinha-me escrito uma carta”
  • More involved comound tenses like “ter de fazer alguma coisa” and “haver de fazer alguma coisa” seem like the pronoun would follow the main verb because it would be too clunky to put it anywhere else.
  • In other kinds of compound verbs using Ir+infinitive, for example, it’s more a question of style and formality than strict rules. Sticking the pronoun onto the auxiliary sounds more informal, on the main verb more formal.
  • Obviously the usual rules apply regarding the pronoun going first in questions, in negative sentences and in subordinate clauses (ie, after a “que”)

It tends not to matter whether the pronoun follows the main vern or the auxiliary. It’s more a matter of style than rules (thank the lord! at last!) except where the auxiliary in question is “ter” or “haver”

It’s a funny old book. It purports to show errors “that will obliterate your credibility” but in some cases, she’s just highlighting that there are two options but one is preferable, which doesn’t seem like it would obliterate anyone’s credibility. In short, it seems more like a style guide and arguably a bit pedantic in places. There’s also an error (I think – and my wife agrees) on page 36!

Posted in Portuguese

Quando As Plantas Atacam

IMG_20180921_55978Hoje de manhã, quando acordei, havia algo estranho na cama (!) Senti umas picadas na pele da minha mão, como se houvesse umas agulhas nos lençóis, Não fazia ideia o que é que estava a causar este fenómeno. Tentei ignorá-lo mas cada vez que tocava nos lençóis, levava mais ferroadas nos dedos e depois nos braços e nas costas até já não puder ignorá-las. Levantei-me e fui em busca da pinça da minha mulher. Havia centenas de espinhos pequeninos em todo o lado, nos dedos, nos braços,  nas palmas das mãos… Pareciam pêlos fininhos, picando a pele. Passei uns minutos com a pinça, a retirar espinho após espinho mas já agora, fico com algumas. Quando faço um punho com a mão esquerda, consigo sentir umas ferroadas, mesmo que não veja nada.

Quando a minha esposa acordou, perguntei-lhe se teve o mesmo problema mas ela respondeu que não. Voltei para o quarto e vi o culpado: havia um cacto numa prateleira por cima da cama. Durante a noite, o cacto derrubara-se e caíra da prateleira. Caíra na mesa e rebentara-se, espalhando espinhos em toda a parte. Embora eu tenha dores nos dedos o cacto sofreu um destino ainda pior. Coitadinho.

Posted in English, Portuguese

Raul With It

One of the chapters in Reaccionário Com Dois Cês is an obituary for Raul Solnado, who I’d never heard of. He died in 2009 and was recognised as one of the greats of portuguese comedy. Here he is in front of an audience in the sixties or seventies, telling a rambling story of the war of 1908. Top quality R-rolling.

Posted in Portuguese

A Corrida

No sábado passado, eu fiz uma corrida de dez quilómetros. Há dois anos costumava correr muito. Corria mais de* vinte quilómetros por semana. Até fiz umas maratonas. Mas hoje em dia, estou mais gordo e menos em forma. Por isso, custou muito para me preparar para este evento. Treinei três vezes por semana durante um mês, até consegui correr em volta do parque. O perímetro do parque tem um comprimento de 11 quilómetros e mais inclinações do que o percurso da corrida. Por isso, quando chegou o dia, senti-me forte o suficiente para correr numa velocidade relativamente alta sem recear que eu cansasse antes do final. Cruzei a linha de chegada dentro de uma hora e quarenta e oito segundos, que é longe do meu melhor desempenho pessoal de sempre, mas apesar disso, senti-me muito contente.

*=I wrote “mais do que” forgetting this recent post

 

Posted in English, Portuguese

Vinte e Dois Minutos Atrasado, Gelo Preto em Norbiton

My attempt at explaining (in portuguese, mostly) the difference between the english words “late” and “delayed”

11051

Delayed

Delayed é o particípio passado do verbo “delay” (acho que o verbo mais perto em português é “adiar” ou possivelmente “atrasar”). Pode usa-se como adjectivo. Não se aplica nunca como adverbio
“I was delayed on my way to work”
“My train was delayed”
MAS NUNCA
“I arrived delayed”
Se alguma coisa é delayed, acontece mais tarde do que as minhas expectativas mas não necessariamente tarde de mais ou “mais tarde que permitido” digamos assim.

Late

Late pode ser um adjectivo ou um adverbio. Portanto, podemos dizer
“I am late” (adbjectivo) ou
“I arrived late” (adverbio)
Late implica que o evento aconteceu (ou a pessoa checgou) tarde de mais

Later

Embora Later é relacionado com “Late” e pode significar “ainda mais atrasado, é mais comum que quer dizer “depois”.

Exemplos

Há uma regra na minha empresa que empregados devem chegar antes de 09:00. Eu costumo de chegar as 08:00
Um dia, havia um pneu furado na minha bicicleta. Por isso, apanhei o autocarro e cheguei as 08:45. Disse “I was DELAYED on my way to work” porque cheguei mais tarde do que normal (I arrived LATER than usual”) mas não precisei de oferecer nenhum desculpa. I was DELAYED but I was NOT LATE because I still arrived before 09:00
Havia duas reuniões naquele dia.
Uma foi agendado para 09:30, mas o chefe mandou um email para mudar a hora para 10:00 porque tive uma telefonema muito importante.
Uma foi agendado para 14:00, mas comecei as 14:30 porque o chefe bebeu de mais durante a hora de almoço e esqueci-se do agendamento.
The first meeting was DELAYED because everyone agreed that it should start LATER than usual
The second meeting was also delayed, but we could say it started LATE because it should have happened at 14:00 but it started half an hour after that time due to the boss being drunk

Há outros significados de “late” também que são relacionados mas não se confundam com “delayed”
“The Late Twentieth Century” = os últimos anos do século XX
“My late father” = um modo muito respeitoso de dizer “O meu pai que está morto”

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Two Countries Separated By A Common Language

I was sent this video by my Brazilian language partner and its a pretty good illustration of the language barrier between the two sides of the atlantic. Note that the Portuguese guy (Caesar Mourão, one of the comedians on the line-up of the comedy festival I mentioned yesterday) understands the tourists because the Portuguese are so used to listening to Brazilian “Novelas” but they have no idea what he’s on about.

Posted in Portuguese

Andemos de Bicla

1Intro
Me and the teenager in pre-teenager days

Acabo de ler um artigo velho sobre o uso de bicicletas (ou seja “biclas” que é, se não me engano, uma palavra infantil que quer dizer a mesma coisa). O escritor utiliza o argumento de que andar de bicicleta a caminho da escola. é melhor para crianças Como muitas cidades, Braga tem ruas construídas para facilitar o movimento de carros exclusivamente e por isso, não é sempre seguro para ciclistas mais novos. O escritor aconselha-nos que não deve ser perigoso se os pais acompanhá-las à pé. Por este método, os nossos filhos aprendem habilidades de auto-conhecimento, consciência do ambiente, navegação e sentido de equilíbrio. Além disso, ficam mais saudáveis e evitam os efeitos mais graves do peso e da falta de exercícios. Sobretudo, o escritor espera que o governo autárquica veja estes ciclistinhas e façam mudanças ao sistema de trânsito na cidade para tornar tudo mais seguro e mais fácil para os viajantes mais vulneráveis.

Eis o artigo para quem tem interesse: Braga Ciclável

Thank you Marcio for the correcdtions!

Posted in English

Chuckles Call to Chuckles Everywhere

I’ve found myself getting a bit more feminist lately. I have tended to be a bit dismissive of some claims of 21st-century feminism, to the point of wondering whether the word had outlived its usefulness, but have been energised lately by… well, it’s a long story. Suffice to say that having a daughter makes you want to punch more misogynists in the balls. I am all about the punching. I’m a regular Jean-Claude Van Dad.

Anyway, representation in comedy is not one of my main avenues of interest, but I was struck by this tweet earlier today, by Safaa Dib, who I know nothing about but seems to be a publisher and a candidate in a sort of left-green party called Partido Livre. She posted about the Festival de Humor, FamousFest 18. You can see why she was annoyed from the picture below. Literally not one single woman in the line-up. I know 6 of the names and 2 of those are not even comedians. Miquel Esteves Cardoso is a columnist and writer, and Filipe Melo is a producer and a graphic novelist. She doesn’t seem wildly impressed with some of the others either, judging by the comments.

If you click through to the thread, Guilherme Duarte, a comedian who uses the name Por Falar Noutra Coisa chips in and says a couple of women were invited but declined. Hm… well, fair enough up to a point… but then goes on to say (and this is less fair enough) that he didn’t want to have a quota system at the expense of quality (gasp… but wait, it gets worse…) that work was needed in the background to encourage women to try and be funny instead of making makeup tutorials. He salvages this mess of a tweet to some extent but not much. I was left with the impression that the scene is even more of a boy’s club than here.

Update 25/9/18 https://capitalmag.pt/2018/09/24/festival-menina-nao-bebe-whisky/

Posted in Portuguese

À Noite, No Museu

Bolsonaro as a monkey in
I was going to put Bolsonaro’s face on Ben Stiller’s body but that seemed like it gave him too much credit, so….

É provável que vocês tenham ouvido a notícia da semana passada sobre o Museu Nacional no Rio de Janeiro, onde houve um incéndio catastrófico que destruiu a maior parte do seu espólio de vinte milhões de peças, que constituiu a maior colecção etnográfica e histórica na América do Sul.
Claro esta é uma a tragédia para o povo do Brasil e, ainda por cima, para o mundo em geral. Tantos tesouros sem preço e insubstituíveis deixam um buraco negro na memória da humanidade. Com certeza, existem lições que os gerentes dos museus do mundo devem retirar, sobre como cuidar dos seus conteúdos. Esperemos que as aprendam. Sobretudo, esperemos que os políticos que controlam os orçamentos dos museus proporcionam dinheiro suficiente para fazer as mudanças necessárias. Claro, para o Museu Nacional, é tarde de mais, e a lição seria “casa roubada, trancas na porta”.
Eu já li vários artigos sobre a situação no Brasil, e é interessante de ver como esta tragédia encaixa-se no debate político. Por um lado, há a questão de se o governo actual é culpável, até certo ponto, pela falta de segurança, e por outro lado, este museu continha um registro verdadeiro da diversidade e riqueza de historia brasileira que contradizia a narrativa da extrema-direita, e o seu líder, Jair Bolsonaro. Já que o registro está perdido, tornar-se-á mais fácil para autoritários afirmarem que Brasil é um país homogéneo, e os índios, negros, refugiados venezuelanos, e o resto da “escória do mundo” não se encaixam lá?

Para quem quiser mais informações, eis os artigos que eu li antes de escrever este blog:
Museu Nacional Do Brasil. Um País À Procura De Si Perde O Arquivo Onde Podia Encontrar As Respostas.
Contra-Revolução Autoritária: Brasil Alerta Máximo
Lições a tirar da tragédia do Museu Nacional, no Rio de Janeiro

[Uncorrected] É mais de possível que fiz muitos erros factuais aqui. Confesso que o Brasil não é um país cuja politica anda sempre na frente dos meus pensamentos, e isso é apenas o que retirei de uns artigos que, talvez, eu mal entenda. Parece um assunto interessante mas estou a escrever exclusivamente para praticar e não para dar uma opinião considerada e baseada em evidencia. Se fizesse tal erros, ficaria interessado nas suas opiniões mas espero que não vou ofender ninguém!

Posted in English

Apenas Tolos e Cavalos.

I came across a new phrase the other day “Chico Espertice”, which is the quality attributed to a Chico-Esperto. What’s that? Well, a Chico-Esperto is apparently an unscrupulous, opportunistic chancer who takes the piss at any opportunity. There’s an article about Chico-Espertice here in Visão, in the context of last year’s disastrous wildfires. A few people have been caught jumping the queue, submitting bogus forms and claiming compensation for outbuildings and holiday homes ahead of those who lost their main residence.

It seems like there’s a tendency to tut and turn a blind eye to this sort of sharp practice, seeing it as an unavoidable, and even endearing trait (if this seems weird, just remember some of our best-known sitcoms, notably “Only Fools and Horses” revolve around the british equivalent of the Chico-Esperto), but in this particular instance, it’s a harmful form of fraud and – she hints in the last paragraph – may involve the people who were meant to be acting as stewards for the funds, in which case it arguably goes beyond mere piss-taking and into actual corruption.