Posted in English

Estou Livre!

One of the odd things about listening to portuguese comedy is not quite being sure what the cultural reference points are. The first time I experienced this was when I was listening to something from Rádio Commercial. Mixórdia de Temáticas? It might have been that. There was a character on it who was talking in a weird high-pitched voice and lisping. My first thought was that he was Spanish because the Spanish lisp their Z and soft C sounds, but that didn’t seem right, and then it hit me he was a comedy gay man. There are… let’s see… *counts on fingers* three types of comedy gay man. The rarest is the scary type – like Uncle Monty from Withnail and I. They’re creeping into your room at night and saying stuff like “I mean to have you even if it must be burglary”, but that wasn’t it.

The second type, and the most common these days, is the sharp-tongued gay man from TV shows who is well-dressed, a great dancer, and with a bottomless well of catty put-downs. He’s usually best friends with the leading woman, maybe sharing her flat, and he is very scornful of her latest boyfriend. Well, needless to say, this type didn’t fit the bill either.

inmanWhat it reminded me of most Mr Humphries from “Are You Being Served”. Do you know this show? It was inexplicably popular when I was growing up in the seventies and eighties. Well, I say inexplicably, but there was very little else on TV so we didn’t have much choice. Anyway, if you’re my age and British you’ll almost certainly know it, but I think it was sold overseas too, so maybe you yanks will have seen it too. At that time, TV was full of them: Larry Grayson’s screen persona, Gunner Beaumont from “It Ain’t Half Hot Mum”, and various bit parts in everything from The Dick Emery Show to Carry On. You don’t see many Mr Humphrieses on UK TV these days, for much the same reason as you wouldn’t see a bloke with boot polish on his face calling himself Rangi Ram and saying “youuu blaaaaaddy fooool”: the world has grown up. So hearing this apparent echo from the past speaking Portuguese on Rádio Comercial threw me off balance a bit. Is Portuguese Radio just a bit behind the times? Is there something more intelligent and interesting going on that I’m just not fluent enough to follow? Or was he Spanish after all? Ach, ask me again next year. I might have sussed it out by then.

Posted in English

Don’t Blame Benny

I saw an interesting and controversial article on Twitter, published on the  Loving Language Blog (a blog I follow but apparently missed this the first time around!). The author, Richard Benton, seems really cool and I like his approach to learning languages and building communities in general but in this case I think he has picked the wrong target and maybe also been a little pessimistic and since twitter is a bit limited in space allowed for a reply I thought I’d do a blog post to say why I think so.

Intro: The Benny Lewis Phenomenon

Firstly, let’s start with the man mentioned in the first paragraph – Benny Lewis, aka Benny the Irish Polyglot, author of “Fluent in 3 Months“. Benny is the best known example of what I would call a “celebrity polyglot”. In other words, he is mainly famous for learning languages, quickly and publicly, watched by a huge audience on all social media channels. He has written books and in the process inspired a lot of people to change how they learn languages. Cards on the table, I am one of those people. I used to learn languages mainly from books. It didn’t work out too well I’m afraid, but I’m having a lot more success these days. largely thanks to him. I’m not a full-blown disciple, and I don’t follow him very closely, mainly because one of the languages he speaks is a hideous travesty called Brazilian Portuguese, but I have to admit if I hadn’t stumbled across his website I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have got as far as I have.

Benny and Tim

Lewis himself is part of the digital nomad movement but I wouldn’t say he was the author of it. That honour seems to go primarily to Tim Ferriss, author of “The Four Hour Work Week“, a guide for people who want to live carefree in the world by farming out their work to a third world underling. To be honest, I haven’t read any of his 6,729 published works so I am probably being unfair, but this seems to be the buzz around it. Ferriss himself started a hands-off business selling supplements through a website which apparently was  nice little earner, but I bet his income as an author and speaker has eclipsed that a long time ago. So when I read about a gathering of digital nomads who were all “white people” (I’ll come back to that later) it was Ferriss I was thinking of, not Lewis.

I share the view that encouraging people to produce as little actual value as possible and just ponce off the labour of others seems like a recipe for the worst kind of douchebaggery but I must admit that some of the followers of the four hour workweek have spawned some interesting and useful business ideas that have actually made the world better without any real harm. Benny is a pretty good example of that, and I can also think of Steve Kamb, creator of Nerd Fitness, who turns couch potatoes into ACTUAL SUPER HEROES! And I’m sure they’re not the only ones.

The Case For Benny

Shelving the wider question of digital nomads, let’s focus specifically on the polyglot angle to this. The case against Benny seems to be largely that he “gave people the tools to exploit more people in more countries”. I don’t think this is entirely fair. Rich people have always been able to exploit poor people – that’s usually how they got rich. Now maybe more knowledge is more power, but I don’t think learning language from someone makes your hosts poorer or makes you a worse human. Moreover, I don’t actually see why people shouldn’t travel while they work.

This brings me back to the “Notice how many white people are there?” comment. I find this irritating, to be honest. If someone posted a picture of a café in London and said “Look how many Asians are there?” I would find it annoying for exactly the same reasons. Being  foreign doesn’t make you bad. Let’s stick to what people are doing while they’re there. Maybe there’s a case to answer for the behaviour of the white people (and Richard certainly seems to think so, as we’ll see below) but I think starting with the skin colour is unhelpful.

The observation does have some light to shed though, in one important way: what it tells us is that here we have a lot of people from Oz, from the UK, from America, who have – so we’re told – read “Fluent in 3 Months” and spent enough time listening to locals that they can now hold a conversation. Well hallelujah! Back when I was slumming it around the world, my method of communication consisted of “Excuse me, do you speak English?” I’m not proud of that but it’s true. And all my fellow travellers – Kiwis, Yanks, Aussies, Brits – were just as bad because historically English speakers have been absolutely terrible at learning languages. Wherever we go we’ll find someone who is able to speak English well enough to direct us to the nearest photo opportunity, so why bother, right? The fact that that’s changing seems like a huge step forward. Not the whole answer but a start.

The Problems with Polyglot Culture

From a survey of various Polyglot sites and podcasts, I can see there are a few things about the whole “polyglot” thing that rub me up the wrong way. Some of those things are related to “digital nomad” culture, but when I think them through, more often than not, they are usually just aspects of the wider cult of hedonism and self-actualisation in western society, and particularly younger people of the American persuasion (I’m 47 and British so maybe I’m biased!)

  • I feel there’s an element of “trophy hunting” about it. Often the number of languages a person speaks is dropped into the conversation, with points seemingly attributed not to how they have used the knowledge but for how difficult it was to conquer.
  • It doesn’t really offer a critique of selfish, heedless attitudes to other societies. True, there are often asides about learning other cultures but they often feel like they’ve been tacked on and that often the person is more interested in getting laid* in as many countries as possible because they are the guy in the nightclub who can actually speak _______ (insert name of local language) with a cute ______ (insert own nationality) accent.
  • Generalised disapproval of the idea of global jet travel and environmental impact of travel generally. These objections are set out more clearly in a follow-up post in which Richard discusses some other people’s critiques of his ideas and sets out some of the detrimental effects of tourism bringing money into a poor economy.

However, I can’t lay any of these problems at the door of language-hacking; they’re all things that were happening anyway, but in the past they were done by people speaking (or shouting) only English and unable to understand any objections put to them. Encouraging English speakers to pay attention to people from other cultures is a huge benefit, because contrary to what the blog post implies, language-hacking doesn’t consist of drinking by the pool; you have to speak to other humans, and little by little, those language students will absorb enough actual experience from their interlocutors that in time they will come to have a broader appreciation of other cultures. And oh my god, is that ever something our world needs right now! This, to me, seems like the truly good and important thing about the trend for learning languages. It’s small but it’s significant, and I think we should encourage it.

And for those of us who don’t travel, the internet is such a huge help. I’m learning Portuguese and my daughter is learning Japanese from a native speaker on the other side of the globe. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it would have been for me, age eleven, in Preston at the dawn of the eighties to learn Japanese. That’s a whole window open in her mind that was never opened in mine. And it’s happening more and more in the Anglosphere. Thank you internet. Thank you! And thank you Benny Lewis! For all your imperfections, you beautiful Irish moustache owner. Thank you! Thank you!

 

*=Sorry, this isn’t an expression I use often but it seems to fit in this context!


Disclaimer

It’s too easy, when discussing things like colonialism and race, to stray the wrong side of the line that divides debate from incivility. I hope I have stayed on the right side of that line. I am not in any way intending to disrespect the blog post or – God forbid – make any sort of daft reverse-racism aspersion about the comments about the white people in the photograph. I’ll leave such tactics to the knuckle-draggers, Alt-Right and  Trump supporters, but if I haven’t expressed any of it properly then I hope you’ll not hold my poor prose style against me!

Posted in English

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream Because We’re Terrified

Well, our passports arrived and now I have no excuse to not go to Portugal*. I have mixed feelings about this though. As I explained, tremulously, during the produção oral of the B1 exam, “tenho medo de voar” – I am scared of flying – and it’s pretty hard to get there by canoe, so I will just have to wash down a couple of diazepam with a generous bottle or two of scotch and hope to wake up there. We’re going in a few weeks time, so it’ll be before the exam, and that should help a lot. When I arrive I’ll be in full homework mode. If anyone tries to talk to me in English, rather than awkwardly explain that I am trying to learn I’m just doing to say “desculpe, sou Dinamarquês” and profess a total lack of knowledge of my own mother tongue in any form. Pro Skills.

*=I know, I know, we’re both in the EU so passports aren’t needed, but in these Brexity times who knows when Theresa May will decide to slam the borders shut?

Posted in English

Practice Portuguese Videos

The Practice Portuguese Podcast is really blossoming now that Joel is doing it full-time. There are some new videos on the site along with the usual podcast episodes, a pronunciation chart and new stuff being promised for the future. You can see the first two all three videos free on the site – 5000 Words You Already Know  Open and Closed Vowels and Tools for learning European Portuguese (including the big reveal of their secret weapon in their war to make the world speak European Portuguese). Each one is a very specific examination of an aspect of the language that can help you move forward in vocabulary (first one) or pronunciation (second) and to get more Portuguese into your life in general (third). Actually, to tell the truth, the second one blew my mind a bit because I tried to listen without paying much attention and maybe I need to sit down again with it and put the effort in.

ruijoel

Posted in English, Portuguese

A Escola

This is a corrected version of a spoken answer I gave to a question about a time I had been told off at school. My friend Márcio rewrote it in a more natural way to help me understand how it could be improved. I thought there were enough interesting mistakes getting corrected that it was worth transcribing the whole thing so I’d remember it better.

Eu estava na escola primária, há três anos quando* nós mudámos da casa. Eu e o meu irmão fomos para um nova escola primária, e quando estávamos na nova escola, havia um grupo de rapazes que decidiram que não gostavam de nós. Eram rapazes da minha turma** e da turma do meu irmão. Então eles disseram “Não gostamos de vocês! Vocês cheiram mal, então nós vamos bater-vós”.

Depois da aula, houve uma grande luta, e de alguma forma, dois desses rapazes malcriados ficaram magoados. Eu fiquei muito orgulhoso por ter sido capaz de me defender a mim e o meu irmão, mas infelizmente a professora não pensou da mesma forma de nós

*=I tried to write it as “quando tinha estado na escola” – literally “when I had been at school…” to see how well awkward British past tenses translated to Portuguese. The answer seems to be “not well”.

**=Turma = Class (in school)

My original speech was a great deal wordier than, so it’s nice to see it written out tidily like this. I seem to be making a lot of ser/estar type errors, as well as the occasional “estar” where a “ficar” would be better. These are all things I know but as usual they just don’t come out in the heat of the moment.

Posted in English, Portuguese

Key Learnings 6 – Maybe Not…

Yesterday I made a horrific discovery, namely that the phrase “pode ser” didn’t mean what I thought it meant. It really shook me to the core, because it was one of the stout workhorses of my vocabulary, ready to come out at a moment’s notice and bridge a gap in a sentence. As I said to my friend Márcio, who first questioned it:

Sobre “pode ser”: acreditei que significava “maybe” (talvez) mas perguntei a minha esposa e ela disse que quer dizer “It may be”, nem “maybe”.
Estou em choque. Foi uma das primeiras palavras/expressões que aprendi. Sinto-me como alguém informou-me que “obrigado” não significa “Thank you” ou “bom dia” não significa “good morning”. Devo deitar uns minutos…
Posted in English

Musical Terms

Discussing music today with Ana, I learned a couple of new terms I quite like:

Dançável – means “danceable”, or music you can dance to

Para abanar o capacete – means literally “to shake the helmet”, or more colloquially “for headbanging”.

Posted in English

Bitter Portuguese Guy Sings!

I enjoyed this because aside from being a good song in its own right, it’s a very rare example of a song in Portuguese that I can understand almost 100% without help

The guy singing it seems a little aggrieved with the views of the ladies in his life. Perhaps not quite ready to order his “Meninist” t-shirt online, but he’s definitely disgruntled. Well, that’s OK, we all have bad days, and he got a good song out of it, so who’s complaining? There doesn’t seem to be a translation online so I’ve done one myself

Os Maridos das Outras / Other People’s Husbands

Everyone knows men are brutes
Who leave beds unmade
And things unsaid
They’re not very astute, they’re not very astute
Everyone knows men are brutes

Everyone knows men are ugly
They leave conversations unfinished
And laundry to pick up
And they’re evasive, and they’re evasive*
Everyone knows men are ugly

But other people’s husbands, no
Because other people’s husbands are
The archetype of perfection
The pinnacle of creation

Docile creatures of a completely different species
Who always make their wives’ friends happy
And everything men don’t do
Everything men aren’t, everything men aren’t
Other people’s husbands are, other people’s husbands are

Everyone knows men are rubbish
They like music nobody likes
And never lay the table
Lower than a beast, lower than a beast
Everyone knows men are rubbish

Everyone knows men are animals
Who smell strongly of wine
And never know which way to go
Na na na na na na, na na na na na**
Everyone knows men are animals

But other people’s husbands, no
Because other people’s husbands are
The archetype of perfection
The pinnacle of creation

Amiable creatures of a completely different species
Who always make their wives’ friends happy
And everything men don’t do
Everything men aren’t, everything men aren’t
Other people’s husbands are, other people’s husbands are

 

*=”E vem com rodeios” actually means “they come with roundabouts”. I’m guessing the figurative meaning of this but I could be wrong.

**=Could he not think of a rhyme for Animais?

Original Portuguese Lyrics here

 

 

Posted in English

Moura Encantada

So here’s a good example of half-understanding a song and completely missing the point. I always thought this song was about a Moorish (Moroccan, Saracen, Muslim) sorcerer of some kind, but swotting up on my Ana Moura lyrics ahead of next week’s concert, I found out that it’s not that at all. Apparently a Moura is a fairy-tale creature from old Galician and portuguese legends. Reading the description on the Wikipedia page, it sounds an awful lot like a djinn/genie of Arabic folktales, so it’s not wholly fanciful that the moor in the sense of Moorish invaders (Mouros) and the Mouro/Moura of legend are bound up in some way, but it certainly illustrates the point that relying on half-understanding most of the words in a song can be deceptive!