Posted in English

A Brief, Pessimistic Interlude

I occasionally wonder what the point of all this is. The aim of language is to communicate but I am a fairly introverted person and I seem to get more and more socially awkward with each passing year, to the point where, unless I’m in really good form, I’m not really capable of holding a relaxed conversation in my own language, let alone in another one. Perhaps as a result of that, I am still very backward in my use of the basics of Portuguese that would maybe come quite naturally to someone who was used to having conversations with people. I’m studying for the C1 exam, which is quite advanced, but I’m still making really basic errors, mixing up ser and estar, using a instead of para, using the wrong tense or gender.

Some days I just feel like I’m only doing this so I can read more books. Well, there’s nothing wrong with that, but it seems a bit self-centred and not really in the spirit of… I dunno, reaching out across the sea and making connections with other people in other places or whatever.

I was at the Portuguese embassy yesterday at a book launch and I went thinking I’d speak to people in Portuguese and just immerse myself in that for an hour or so, but I ended up sitting and reading a book before the presentation and then afterwards got talking to some other British people, in English, until one of them did the “oh, I’ve just spotted someone I know on the other side of the room” move and I didn’t really have the mental energy to go and find someone else to talk to so I just sort of slunk away without saying goodbye or thanking the author or the ambassador. Le sigh.

Anyway, these moods come and go, and I suppose the main thing is to not make any rash decisions while under the influence of negative thoughts. Just keep working and wait till the positivity returns and I can maybe make plans for how to be less of a total disaster.

Posted in English, Portuguese

Toy Story – Com Diogo Cabeça-de-Batata

No texto de ontem falei do vídeo do Diogo Bataguas/Batuta/Batman/QualquerCoisa*. Mas não mencionei a maior estrela do vídeo, o Toy. Para ser sincero, nunca antes tinha ouvido falar desse senhor, mas andei à procura de vídeos das músicas dele. Parece que é boa música de festa mas não senti me uma grande pulsão* em comprar os seus álbuns.

Mas percebo o génio de contratar um cantor famoso daquele estilo de música para gravar o tema duma rubrica dum programa televisivo.

*=in the original version of yesterday’s text, I got Diogo Bataguas’s name wrong and called him Diogo Batuta.

**=not really the right word. I’m reading a book that has Sigmund Freud as one of its characters and he uses this word – it means an urge, in the psychological sense. It would have been better to say something like “não me senti compelido a comprar…”

Thanks to Dani for the grammar corrections. She’s also given me some factual corrections which I’ll pass along so as not to give the wrong idea:

The video is a web series, not a TV show. Diogo Bataguas is “um moço singelo” (a simple, innocent lad) who asks for contributions from his fans in order to be able to pay his team – namely, Sandro, who is always hungry

Toy doesn’t just sing party songs as I’ve described here, he also does emotional ballads and TV soap opera theme songs but he’s also known for being an interesting personality. He gave away tickets to his wedding to random fans and he… Invented a style of driving with his knees…? Speaking as a cyclist, this doesn’t exactly endear me to the bloke, to be honest, but apart from that he seems OK. One fellow learner told me (s)he had met him in a seafood restaurant in Azeitão and he had spoken warmly and at great length of his love for Canadian audiences. Telling this story later, (s)he found out that virtually everyone who has ever been to any restaurant in Azeitão has had a similar experience because he is “um senhor bastante gregário”.

He wasn’t hired to do the song, (it’s at about 7:55 in the video I linked to yesterday) Bataguas just mentioned he’d like to get Toy to sing it and fan pressure did the rest.

Some examples of his work:

Party music

Ballad

Knee driving

Posted in English, Portuguese

Vontade, Desejo

This is a short text trying to fit in as many expressions of will, intention or desire as possible. The expressions are from the Camões Institute’s C1 course. Thanks to Dani for the corrections.

Está nos meus planos fazer uma corrida daqui a três semanas. Tenho ideias de melhorar o meu desempenho da última corrida. Morro de vontade de manter uma velocidade alta durante a corrida inteira. Não suporto (a idea de) que* os meus tempos possam voltar a ser de mais do que uma hora como nas corridas do verão passado. Fiquei eufórico quando corri dez quilómetros em 55 minutos em outubro. Claro que preferia correr ainda mais rápido! Tenho ganas de ganhar a corrida mas não é provável e no fim das contas, deliro com cada corrida na qual ultrapasso os meus limites. Um dia claro cairia muito bem, e viria mesmo a calhar** se houvesse um vento forte nas minhas costas. Queira Deus que o clima*** esteja bom porque morro de aborrecimento quando corro em condições cinzentas e ventosas.

*=”I can’t bear (the idea) that…” This construction needs a noun immediately after it and when the verb does come, it’s subjunctive.

**=”vir a calhar” is a weird one and I think I got it wrong in the original text. Calha is a gutter so I took “vir a calhar” as something negative but it’s more like “being channelled in the right direction” so, like “cair muito bem” it has a sense of things turning out well by good luck. There’s a ciberdúvidas article about the expression if you want to know more. Anyway, the long and the short of it is, I made such a mess of this sentence that the marker didn’t really get what I was driving at at all 😔

***=I wanted to write “o tempo” but since that means “time” as well as “weather” it seems like it would be super-confusing here! Clima is more like “climate” than weather of course, so it sounds a little bit off.

Posted in English

OVNI

Spotted on Twitter

What the troubled brain is saying is “And what if we’re living in a simulation or matrix and the OVNIs are the mouse pointers”

OVNI is “Objeto Voador Não Identificado” – A UFO in other words. I’ve heard Disco Voador (flying disc, flying saucer) too, but that was easier to decipher. This one needed a bit more legwork.

Posted in English

Early Impressions of the Official C1 Course

I said, a few days ago, that the official C1 course I was taking through the Camões Instituto de Cooperação e da Língua was being hampered by network troubles. They’ve been sorted out now. It must just have been a temporary glitch. I’m still not convinced though. It’s not hugely expensive as these things go, so I’m not too traumatised or anything but it’s worth setting out the pros and cons for the benefit of anyone who is considering following the same path.

First of all, the pros: the course is designed by the same people who design the exams, so the topics it covers are likely to come up as discussion topics in the exam. So it’s a good way of getting familiar with that kind of vocabulary. It has several hours’ worth of content, intended to be studied week by week, but it’s delivered on demand so you can go faster if you like.

Now the cons: the app is broken. That’s OK though, you can take the course in a web browser and there have been a few times I’ve had to do that just to progress, because I simply couldn’t scroll to the answer in the app, or because it gave me an error message every time I tried to move onto a page. Just don’t even bother with it. Save yourself the headache and do it in the web browser instead.

The actual content isn’t especially challenging. For example, I’ve just done a quiz about health. You’re supposed to start with a text about healthy lifestyles then answer a series of questions like “Physical activity is essential for a healthy life – True/False”. Well um, I don’t really need to go back to the text to answer that, thanks.

The introductory lecture of the Camões Institute C1 course
The introduction to the first unit

Maybe the reason for the ease of the questions is that there’s quite a strong emphasis on culture. The health topic is perhaps not the best example to use, but in the very first section, there’s an exercise about local shops and their role in poor communities. The questions were sort of ridiculous, considered purely as a matter of language. In one, we’re shown a picture of a man, standing in a shop holding a book with people’s names and the various things they’d been given in credit, so he could keep track of who owed what. The challenge was to pick out words from a list that could be used as a caption for the picture. You’re not told how many to pick. I chose “mercearia” and “comerciante” but I should also have picked “proximidade”, “bairro” and “comércio local”

In the next question, you’re asked what makes it possible for a neighbourhood to feel like a large family. And the options are a confiança, o afeto, a proximidade or o tempo. The answer is not given in the text, you just need to think about it. The correct answer is “o afeto”

So… Okay… It felt a little random, and didn’t really challenge my vocabulary skills, but I suppose they’re trying to get you to think of what neighbourhood means in Portugal, and to understand the ties that bind local communities as well as just purely being able to use grammar correctly. So there’s an element of comprehension of the text, but also an expectation that you’ll use empathy to comprehend the actions of the individuals.

So I think my early review would be that the course is worth taking if you intend to take the exam seriously and want to be prepared for the conversation topics, and it’s definitely worth taking if you are considering citizenship and want to get to know the culture. But I don’t think it’s enough on its own, at least to judge from what I’ve seen so far, you’d also need to go through a textbook, because you’ll need something else to really stretch you linguistically and, from what I’ve seen so far, this ain’t it.

Posted in English

Liberals

I’ve been watching the reaction to this American child who ended up killing two people due to living in a place with terrible gun laws and worse ideas. Needless to say, most Brazilians think he’s a hero. Or most vocal twitter Brazilians think so anyway. The Portuguese tend to line up closer to the brits, utterly baffled and bewildered by the whole business and fairly sure something has gone wrong somewhere.

What’s interesting to me, from the political point of view, is how the word Liberal is used in Portugal. Of course, the word has a slightly different valence from country to country. Over here, liberals are well-meaning but ineffective. In the US the term is used as a derogatory label for anyone on the spectrum between Hillary Clinton and Lenin. But check out this tweet from Diogo Faro, the Owen Jones of Portuguese Twitter.

And that’s one of hundreds and hundreds I could have picked. Liberals and fascists seem often to be equated as if they were basically the same thing. I’m not sure exactly where this comes from: whether the Iniciativa Liberal are genuinely very right wing, or if its just a phenomenon of the parties being so fragmented that the IL end up in alliances with parties like Chega in the same way as the centre left has to shack up with the communists. Or maybe Portuguese political twitter is a minority that’s so far to the left that the remaining 99% of the political spectrum just seems like fascism from where they’re standing. I dunno.

Anyway, sorry for the politics. Ill get back to other things next.

Posted in English

A Neuterful Mind

Hm, I’m really scraping the bottom of the barrel with these neuter puns aren’t I? (previous examples here and here)

For anyone who was interested in the issue of well-meaning-but-annoying young activists trying to force a neuter gender into Portuguese grammar as a way of describing either individuals who self-describe as gender-neutral, or mixed groups of male and female people, here’s an example in a meme of someone trying to use it in a group situation.

I have to ask myself if it’s real or a joke. If it’s real then Marcelo probably should have said “convidades” to match the adjective to his openening noun. I’m with Mariana, Lucas, Karina and the rest in this one though I think. Its hard enough trying to remember that saucepans have gender without also having to remember that some people have one of 67 imaginary ones.

Posted in English

Swimply the Breast

I went swimming yesterday for the first time since before the age of covid. Since a long time before, in fact. I recorded the workout in my fitness app. Yes, I’ve become one of those people! Anyway, like most things on my phone, it’s in Portuguese so I had to try and figure out what this lot meant. They’re not words I’ve ever needed before. So here’s the scoooooop:

  • Natação =swimming
  • Braçada =stroke. “estilo” and even “movimento” can be used instead.
  • Costas =backstroke
  • Bruços =breaststroke (aka “de peito”)
  • Mariposa =butterfly – also called “borboleta” and “golfinho”
  • Estilo Livre =crawl actually called “crawl” in Brasil and “crol” in portugal, and these seem to be more common names than “Estilo Livre” as far as I can see.

Posted in English

Leveling Up

I’m on day 66 of my epic quest for C1 competence. I’ve finished Português Atual (which is one of the books reviewed on this page) and signed on for the Instituto Camões course. They are the people responsible for administering the exams so I feel like this is “straight from the horse’s mouth” as it were, but I wish they’d work on the website a bit more because all I’ve learned so far is how to say “page loading”.

I’ll update on here as I go along. If I go along…