This is a corrected version of a spoken answer I gave to a question about a time I had been told off at school. My friend Márcio rewrote it in a more natural way to help me understand how it could be improved. I thought there were enough interesting mistakes getting corrected that it was worth transcribing the whole thing so I’d remember it better.
Eu estava na escola primária, há três anos quando* nós mudámos da casa. Eu e o meu irmão fomos para um nova escola primária, e quando estávamos na nova escola, havia um grupo de rapazes que decidiram que não gostavam de nós. Eram rapazes da minha turma** e da turma do meu irmão. Então eles disseram “Não gostamos de vocês! Vocês cheiram mal, então nós vamos bater-vós”.
Depois da aula, houve uma grande luta, e de alguma forma, dois desses rapazes malcriados ficaram magoados. Eu fiquei muito orgulhoso por ter sido capaz de me defender a mim e o meu irmão, mas infelizmente a professora não pensou da mesma forma de nós
*=I tried to write it as “quando tinha estado na escola” – literally “when I had been at school…” to see how well awkward British past tenses translated to Portuguese. The answer seems to be “not well”.
**=Turma = Class (in school)
My original speech was a great deal wordier than, so it’s nice to see it written out tidily like this. I seem to be making a lot of ser/estar type errors, as well as the occasional “estar” where a “ficar” would be better. These are all things I know but as usual they just don’t come out in the heat of the moment.
Aha! This links to the comment I just wrote on your fado post. I see that your text here reads “Eu e o meu irmão” – did you, by any chance, originally write “My brother and I”? And then Márcio swapped it around??
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Yep, you’re right, this is a direct transcription. Hm, OK, I’ll make a conscious effort to put myself first in all things. Hm, that would make a great inspirational poster…
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And thanks for both comments by the way. I’m really glad of any pointers I can get!
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Thanks for posting! I only have sporadic contact with other P learners and miss having this sort of exchange with another learner. Particularly about stupid pedantic stuff that doesn’t really matter an iota, haha 🙂
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